Working off the Ramen Noodles, One Hip Swivel at a Time

I'm two steps behind, bringing up the caboose, a straggler, trend follower. Call it as you may, but I finally took my first Zumba class. My friend invited me to go with her, and as we were walking in, I said, "well since you've done this already, I can rest assured that it's not going to be sexy Brazilian moves." She casually replied, "no it is!" OH. I'm Irish and have tacked on a few or more extra pounds. I was nervous I'd have to zoom-ba right outta there.

It was amazing to a fault. As in, I want to be a Zumba instructor. The biggest problem was the mirrors. Those freakin mirrored walls will get you every. time. I was bouncing around feeling so good, feeling like I had the Brazilian Rhythm (how hard is that word to spell, seriously. I just googled it three times.) Then I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror (and the lady behind me staring at my underwear lines in my spandex) and I realized that probably the closest thing to me becoming brazilian is my dark hair and pear shaped body. But honey, that di'nt stop this dancin' machine.

l

I looked less like the girl in the foreground, more like the lady in the teal in the background. With spandex, to boot.

What failed me in the mirrors was quickly rebuttaled in the class of ladies. (Friend not included) There was a big chested lady of about 6'1, a 220 pound man, an anorexic looking teenager with oversized feet, and better yet, the instructor was funky, cute, but she was not necessarily Rio de Janeiro ready either. AND to top it all off, her cool down music was just as amazing as the Brazilian rap. No sarcasm: (thanks, Pearls, for the hint)

This post brought to you by Bristol Palin and Oh! Calcutta

Ugh this pic doesn't even do them justice

When I heard today that Bristol Palin is going to be on Dancing With the Stars, I knew I had to honor the Palins immediately.  I needed to find an occasion to wear those shoes.

  I'm 5'9.  And so is Mr Incredible (height may or may not be his only un incredible characteristic.)  And what better place would I have to wear these than an Indian restaurant?  Where I can one up small Indian men two times with 1) my height 2) my thick (er?) Buffalo accent?  I bet Bristol felt like me, too.

Bristol are you feeling self conscious than your leg is bigger than his head?  Very relatable tonight, Bristol.  Very relatable.

Sarah, why do your legs look so much hotter than mine?:

and this pic DOES NOT DO MY LEGS JUSTICE.

One Oh! Calcutta martini (two parts liquor to one part pineapple juice to one part Indian cologne)

Indian waiter, "you get rose he get beel."

Do I have loose ends not tied up?  Have I made a complete thought throughout this whole post?  Sorry.  Oh! Calcutta.  and mr incredible's left over beer.  good. night.

what I wore wednesday didn't exactly pan out like planned

Finally after weeks of indecision, I decided that I wanted to be an active member of What I Wore Wednesday, over at Pleated Poppy.  Active as in 2:7 days.  As in I would not've been allowed to participate in any extracurricular activity in high school.  I'M SORRY LINDSEY CHENEY.

Actually, she should be apologizing to me because what the h, lindsey?  Where is What I Wore Wednesday!?!??!?!?!!??!  Turns out I'll have to do my own pitiful, pitiful, so so sad version of WIWW (<-- not world war 1 or 3).

Drumroll: (In other words I'm feeling narcissistic and embarrassed that I really think you care about my clothes.  I'M TRYING TO BLOG EVERYDAY HERE, PEOPLE.)

Tshirt: Jcrew (my friend thought it was a sparkly buffalo on it which made my sparkle love it)

camisole: gap

Jeans: Banana Republic (love because they fit perfectly, love more because they were $12)

Try one:

Try two:

Finally Mr Incredible came home:

shirt: BR

jeans: gap

shoes: awesome pumas

What I didn't wear Wednesday:

And since you waited all so patiently, I'll tell you where I got it.  A garage sale.  From h&m.  But a garage sale.  Did that change your minds?

The clothesline opinions were inspiring

I was totally diggin' that you guys had an opinion on clotheslines yesterday, and diggin' even more that Team Kiera prevailed.  As always.  You people really showed me that you care about my clothes (or something)

Tomorrow I'll be linking up my blog to What I Wore Wednesday.  What I was supposed to do was take pictures of what I wore every day that week, then I'll display it every Wednesday.  I think I took two or three outfits.  I forgot the other days or maybe was in my pajamas most of the day.  Oops.  What I don't want to happen is me looking like a goofy ol faux pas, so I am employing your help.  Again.  Opinions.    Remember, I won't be sad or mad or happy no matter what you say about this outfit.  I'll either keep, or I won't.  It's either cute, or it's really not.  I've owned it now for two years and have never worn it.

 I'm not going to tell you where it's from because I don't want you to be biased. 

Maybe I'll cut off the puff sleeves and make it sleeveless.

Who am I kidding, unless my mom does it for me, it'll never happen.

Sparks aren't flying like I'd expected between me and my sewing machine.

One more thing, if I do wear it ever, it'll be ironed.

Does it make my legs look fat?

You don't have to answer that.  But if you want to say something like, "cut out the chocolate, fatty"

 Last last thing: I didn't wear it today because it's totally not nursing accessible.  It'd be to wear out on a date with Mr Inc, not for a playdate.  

I realize that out of every square foot of property I live on, I had to take it in front of my 1:2 missing hubcaps.  I'm okay with that.

This week in review:

Someone better get me a beer quicker than you can say "Mr Incredible's new shoes."

Because every time I pass them I shudder.

Just because they're Adidas doesn't mean they're stylish.  This is called victimizing the brand name shopper.  Shame on you, Adidas.

The worst part of this entire fiasco?  I did this to him.  See, he needs a pair of white sneakers for his nursing program.  Because nurses wear white shoes so body matters can show up clearly on them.  Mr I was about to buy shoes himself.  That in itself is against the laws of nature and the laws in this home.  Add 'white' and 'sneakers' to that list and you can call me Johnny-on-it.

Two choices.  K-swiss, or Adidas.  Weighing options, weighing options- Adidas.  I seriously didn't think they'd look that bad though.

*** I just told him to read what I've written so far and he said, "how bad do they look?" then clicked over to the photos.  I suppose this is my opportunity to show the world***

uh huh.

In his defense, he realizes this.  The first day he came out doing the Newsboys heel click and asking "what is it that reminds me of being a little boy again?"

But this.  This has to stop.  When you take them off, Mr Incredible, they must be parallel with each other.  Or else it would be a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

If I were the type of person who remained speechless at shocking times, i'd be speechless. absolutely.

I'm probably 10 months behind on this post.  A while ago (oh, say 10 months ago) I heard of Pajama Jeans (PJ, k?  you don't expect me to keep typing 'pajama jeans,' do you?  That's like a tongue twister for my wrists) and I was a little depressed.  Kinda like, okay I know the Snuggie made it big, but that was a long stretch and they're going out faster than you can say 'Snuggies for kids and dogs.'  But you, PJ?  You're not going to make it big.  Maybe in a van down by the river.  But the only thing big about that is the super sized meals four times a day.

Today I reheard of the PJs and became increasingly sad.  Why?  Because I received a catalog (look it up if you're less than twenty years old) in the mail today for Mother's Day that had PJ all over it.  Damn scammers!  They are trying to convince mY HUSBAND that it is okay for ME to wear jeans during the day then while you sleep, then THEN pajamas at night then when you wake up all day.  They're trying to get him to buy it!

Let's be clear.  There are those days that I bum around the house all day and wear my pajamas until it's time to go to bed again.  Those are the days that I apologize profusely to Mr Incredible for being an embarrassing contributor to society and his family and promise myself that I will never forgive myself if he needs to go on prozac at some point in time.  All because I wore my pajamas too long.  That happens about once a week and Mr Incredible doesn't even notice.

Then there are the nights where I drink one bottle too many of wine and coincidentally fall asleep in my jeans, just to wake up the next morning to get on another pair of jeans.  This is not okay either, but hey.  it happens.

All of this being said, I'm starting to like the concept.  joke.  JOKE.  relax.

Do they come in skinny jeans?

Everyone loves a bathing suit fiasco story

I'm really not the hoarding type of person, but when I was younger (like 5th grade) my grandmother gave me one of her bathing suits.  Now this is not your typical gramma bathing suits.  My grandmother was glam con cigarettes all the time.  Love the feathas type.  Even towards the end when she was oxygen she would look women up and down.

I love love love my Grandmother.

So today when we were getting ready to go to our local indoor pool (for all of you who were in shock the last time I mentioned a pool in the winter) I decided I didn't want to wear my old old suit (yellow Victoria's Secret bikini circa 2002)((I don't wear it aymore))(((actually that's what I wore instead of a maternity bathing suit)))((((I got looks all. the. time.)))), my old bathing suit (last summer green tankini.  MOM SUIT), new suit (Athleta brown not sure if it fits yet one piece).  I wanted to try on my grandmother's very Juicy Couture-ish black glam bathing suit.  20 years old?  30? 40? 50?  No joke.  It very well could be 50 years old.  Looks like this, only black with spaghetti straps (via Design Mom).

So I put it on, which in itself is a mini triumph because my Grandma was PEEEE tite.

Mr Incredible:  awesome suit.  Is that your new one?
me:  no, it was my Grandma W's.
him: no really, is that the one that just came?  I love it.
me:  no really, it was my grandma's
him: okay (rolls eyes) where did you get it then?
me: the bin from my parent's basement
him: you can tell me you bought another bathing suit, I won't mind
me: I SWEAR ON MY GRANDMOTHER'S SOUL  it was hers and now it's mine.  circa 1950.
him, feeling the material: they didn't make bathing suit material like this back then.
me: ok.  It was my grandmother's bathing suit.

So off we trot to the pool. I understand now that I should've realized that my grandmother was not athletic.  She loved fashion, she loved her smokes, and she loved looking good.  I probably should not have swam laps in this leisure suit of sorts, but alas!  I swam laps, talked to the guy next to me, waved frantically at my kids in the kiddie pool.  WITH THE HEADLIGHTS ON.  AND OUT.  true story the end.

your repartee, please

Let's hear your takes on this atrocity.

Mine: OJ Simpon? Rhianna? Most disgraceful tribute to MJ everrrrr?  Or is it Amy Winehouse?  who, bt dubs is so last year.

ew.

find this at Forever21 and begin witch trials immediately.

Let's Talk Ugg Boots

Are you, friends, considering Ugg boots?  I'll tell you my two cents:

• I got them last year because I needed boots and they seemed to be the waste of money safest bet.  You just don't know how boots will really look on yourself, so go with the trend.  If they look bad, you know they'll look bad on others, too
• First time I wore them, they leaked.  I had been advised of this.  But really.  Dropping $160 on boots just to have them leak is capital A capital B capital S capital U capital R capital D.  I do not know if spelling out capital just proved a point.  I'm guessing no.
• Quiz:  what do you think that the said leaking does to your Australian boots (do Australians even wear boots?)  Right on.  They smell.
• I Arm and Hammered them, of course.  To get my money's worth.  Of course.  
• And I'm still wearing them this year, when they're not wet and smelly.  The Catch.  I live in Buffalo.  Of course their going to get wet and smelly.  
• They're so going out of style.  In my book.
• Moral of the story:  I just ordered new boots (not Uggs- I'm smarter than that... although I do wonder if they've improved yet...)  Moral of the Story for You:  order your non-ugg boots now.  They're all on sale.  You'll thank me next year.

I could've gotten these from Urban Outfitters for $16 and been equally dissatisfied with my leaks in the Target parking lot.

Favorite Etsy Cozies

Button Cowl

cowl neck warmer

Cranberry Red Fingerless Gloves

Crocheted Arm Warmers

When I first looked at Etsy, I was completely overwhelmed by it. Where to start with all this fabulous stuff!? I'm finally getting the swing of it and am using all of my might to not break our budget. Literally. These are a few favorites that I think I'm going to save up for. My favorite is the Button Cowl. I have a thing for huge buttons.

I could probably make these things myself, but I wouldn't get to wear them 'til next year. Is purchasing something like these immediate gratification? Or is it worth it and supportive of the creative Etsiers? How much is too much for a scarf!?!?

Moby Wrap

I love my Moby Wrap! There is no comparison to a sling or a something with lots of straps- I've tried them all. Basically it is a piece of Jersey cotton, about 8 feet long. It comes with an instruction booklet on how to tie (super easy, super quick) and you can hold your baby in many different positions. And it can hold a big kid too- like 40 pound big kid. I love it, love it, love it.

Hands free and it doesn't pull on your back or shoulders.

Random Thoughts, Lazy Blogging

This can almost sum up how I feel right now. Blogging is difficult. I take a break, and inspiration is gone.

I was hoping to choose a few post partum outfit inspirations to put up, but even that, just too tootin' lazy. (tired, irritable, cranky.... lazy.) A good start to that, though is to check out the Shabby Apple Fit to Flatter. Unfortunately I had to go on dictionary.com to look up words to describe my body. Willowy? Rubenesque? The problem is, I wouldn't describe myself as any of the options they gave me. Just one of dem days.

this is one of the dresses the website suggested. yay.49.jpg

Sorry, no pictures today. Thank God tomorrow is a new day.

Comfortable, Confident, Beautiful

My first pregnancy I bought a handful of maternity clothes, one or two dresses, and wore a lot of my exercise t-shirts. I didn't want to spend a lot of money, because, of course, pregnancy is only for 40 weeks. ...40 out of 52 weeks! That's crazy to not have nice clothes to enjoy for almost a year. My second pregnancy was a different season, so I splurged a little bit more than the previous at Old Navy Maternity. I was pleased with their maternity clothes, but didn't find anything that made me feel mighty good.

This pregnancy I hit up garage sales and consignment shops. But even though I was getting things at $1.oo a piece, I wasn't satisfied. Then it hit me like a brick wall. Maternity clothing, particularly cheaply made maternity clothing (Motherhood) fits well only a handful of times. Then it starts looking drab on the buyer. Then they sell it to you, and now not only is it drab looking, it is formed to a different pregnant body. Ahhh!

I was stuck with a whole lot of inexpensive, but ill fitting maternity clothes that were not exactly my style, but cheap, cheap, cheap. And chances are, if you are me, you can't pass up a deal.

One day I had had it, and asked Mr. Incredible if I could go to the new maternity store to check it out and pick up a few new pieces. He said, "sure, just don't spend over $300.00." Uhhh, are you kidding me? Of COURSE I wouldn't spend anywhere NEAR to $300.00.

Then I went. And found A Pea in the Pod. Beautiful, timeless, elegant, dress up or dress down. If you sell them your kidney. $300.00 later, I was home, delighted. I haven't felt fat and ugly since. Really.

Here are some of my finds:

This can dress up or down. I typically wear with jeans.

I got this in black. The ruching ensures a comfortable fit without riding up. Flattering!

I bought this, but was nervous it looked like a curtain. I've gotten a surprising amount of compliments.

These are Lucky Brand designer jeans. The large didn't fit me. They don't carry extra large. I loved them. I'm glad they

did not fit though, because I found

these jeans for much cheaper. I like how they don't have that terrible band that makes you hotter than you already are.

Even preggers need an LBD. This was cheap, and looks just about as good on me as it does this model. hurrah!

Confession: I bought this because it was on sale. It's a sweater. I figured that September nights might get chilly. I've

already worn it a few times, and like it! It's different, but it's nice to have something to thrown on (other than your

husband's oversized hoodies).

I got this little cable knit at a garage sale. It's Motherhood brand, but it's a sweater. Not supposed to be form fitting.

I'm pleased.

I really like this tunic. However, eldest daughter says to "take off Daddy's shirt." I don't know what other people think

about it.

And if I was pregnant for another 40 weeks, I'd definitely splurge on these things. And probably a few more things, too.

And maybe new shoes, because my feet are ballooning. (never happened before!)

Since I am only 4 weeks from my due date, I think it is fair for me to start dreaming of a slim figure. I like to get a new

outfit for babies baptism, and I'm quite sure this is it. But whoooo knows what size I'll be in 3 months. (Found this link via Sensibly Styled Blog.)