Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Put through the wringer

Well congratulations, me!  I've had my first mean anonymous commenters on my last post.  Although, really they're not that anonymous.

I wrote a (mean, in retrospect) comment on someone else's blog.  Along the lines of, wow that was boring. Only because I'm every day thoroughly entertained by this person.  I've read the blog for at least a year every day, sometimes checking MORE than once in hopes that there'd be another post.

My comment:  funny?  Apparently not.  Hurtful?  Apparently so.  But whoa Uncle Sam did I get some nassssty things said about me.  On that blog.  On facebook.  AHHHH and such is the life of being able to say whatever you want to another person because this is all virtual.

Hey, at least I didn't try to disguise myself and comment as Anonymous.  Righteous.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Mustard's never tasted so good

You know how discouraging it is when you just can't shake those last 5, 7, 10 pounds?  Me too.  Especially since I haven't been working out, the weight that I'm at looks even heavier because it's not lean muscle.  It's fatty fat.

My perfectly fitting jeans are fitting very imperfectly, and I'm always tugging at my clothes so they don't ride up, ride down, get bunched in the wrong places.  Such a frustrating place to be in.  The biggest problem of it all seems to be my appetite and love of all food/drink.  That plus no self control has ground moving effects.  Quite literally.

Poor Mr Incredible could hardly stand one more three-lettered question or comment.  Clue: ends in t, starts with f and has a vowel in between.  And 'fit' is not the correct answer.  My poor children, even though they have not expressed in so many (or any at all) words, could barely stand one more day of me jumping for dear life into my jeans, red faced and sweating, and anxiously albeit politely asking them to leave my room so they could not watch in horror the spectacle I was creating.

So I'm taking some very sound advice and trying to go no carb for 2 weeks.  14 days.  No big deal.  Really what I should be doing is sleeping with a plastic bag over my head.  Because that's easy to do for 14 days too.

It's 1pm on my second day of no carbs.  I politely declined a Tim Hortons egg, cheese and sausage biscuit and a donut of any sort.  And then when I came home shaking from the effects of too much coffee and no carbs (carbs=food) I downed 2 ninety seven percent fat free hot dogs.  I was licking the ketchup and mustard off of my plate as fiercely as I would've licked chocolate icing off of an unsuspecting two year old's birthday cake.

It's that bad.  But only twelve and a half more days to go.

Have you done any no carbs?  How did you survive it?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

This post brought to you by Bristol Palin and Oh! Calcutta

Ugh this pic doesn't even do them justice
When I heard today that Bristol Palin is going to be on Dancing With the Stars, I knew I had to honor the Palins immediately.  I needed to find an occasion to wear those shoes.

  I'm 5'9.  And so is Mr Incredible (height may or may not be his only un incredible characteristic.)  And what better place would I have to wear these than an Indian restaurant?  Where I can one up small Indian men two times with 1) my height 2) my thick (er?) Buffalo accent?  I bet Bristol felt like me, too.
Bristol are you feeling self conscious than your leg is bigger than his head?  Very relatable tonight, Bristol.  Very relatable.

Sarah, why do your legs look so much hotter than mine?:

One Oh! Calcutta martini (two parts liquor to one part pineapple juice to one part Indian cologne)

Indian waiter, "you get rose he get beel."
Do I have loose ends not tied up?  Have I made a complete thought throughout this whole post?  Sorry.  Oh! Calcutta.  and mr incredible's left over beer.  good. night.