don't forget to enter. everyone and anyone.
I've been battling this terrible cold/sinus infection this week. And it's all in my face. Literally. Like, my teeth and cheeks and sinuses. My sinuses feel like they're bleeding and I haven't been able to smell or taste now for going on four days.
That was too much information, I know. It's like the person at funerals who takes pictures of the body, then shows them at her next book club. Like, we sympathize, but will pass on the empathy. Sorry about that.
So basically, I've been knocked off my feet by this cold. I've been sleeping wonky hours with wonky dreams and I've been a good for nothing.
It's Mr Incredible's birthday and I've been a useless crank. With no gifts to bear. And I'm asking him to pick up his own champagne and cheesecake tonight or else we'll be eating frozen fat free cool whip with chocolate sauce. Again.
Since I don't have a wrapped present (skiing?) and I'm too lazy to find my passport (I lost my driver's license a LONG time ago. I've been buying booze with my passport. But THAT picture will be for another day.) I'll do bullet points. Since I never quite surpassed third grade language arts that taught putting thoughts in paragraph. Ehhhh, we all have our fortes. And misgivings, no?
I know I give you a hard time, nettle, tease, irk, pick on et cetera et cetera ET CET.ERA. on this blog. Honestly, on one day of each year I will admit to you that it is probably PROBABLY me projecting my own inadequacies on you. Yes, that's right. I'm most like the annoying one with a bad sense of humor and maybe even a little bit of a nag.
But we're not here to focus on THAT.
Friends, if you need a lesson in love, learn in from Incredible himself. Somehow every virtue comes alarmingly (<-- shoot I did again.) natural to him. So men, take notes. Women, get green.
He always leaves the last bite of anything that I like for me. That's a biggie, guys.
If I ask for a washcloth (then get annoyed because he's taking SO LONG) he always brings it warm/hot
He lets me make decisions. For a million different reasons that is love. (I'm very indecisive)
He supports any decision I make, even if it's a bad one and he knows it
He tells me I'm not fat every time I ask, approximately three times a day.
Even when I'm pregnant and 200 pounds he tells me I'm beautiful (at that point I don't ask if I'm fat anymore)
He's got outrageously awesome work ethic. Something unbeknownst to me.
He's a spectacular dad. He built that playground for the girls with his own two hands (see below)
He never yells are rarely fights with me. (even though who doesn't love drama?)
He likes argyle sweaters.
There's a million more things, but my last brain cell came out when I blew my nose.
sorry, again that was gross. Mr Incredible, I'll love you until the oceans turn to yogurt.
Good question. I'm doing a giveaway because I feel like it. I always thought it would be fun to do a giveaway. Finally I put a little effort into it and it's happening!
But my excuse for the giveaway? Well, it's Mr Incredible's birthday on Thursday. Since I have no idea what to get him, I thought I would give my favorite virtual people ever a gift instead. Oh, AND my birthday is in April. So how fun will April be? You betcha. April showers (of gifts) bring May flowers (of your eternal love for me because I only host the COOLEST giveaways in town.)
While you eagerly wait for April 1st (promise I won't fool you on the winner of the giveaway) I have to fill up the displayed posts with jibber jabber. Why? (geez, you're all so full of whys) Because I announced (for about 4 minutes) on MY facebook page that I have a blog AND left the link. (I only invited certain real life facebook friends people to the Imp Dais' facebook fan page.)(Take note- Mr Incredible is a fan)(take note- he still has yet to comment.)
So anyway- Why is this a problem? Because 1) I'm now in a very vulnerable position because now all my ex friends and ex boyfriends can read all my thoughts and letters to YOU, virtual friends. And more importantly 2) My p90freakinx pictures are slapping you in the face as soon as you enter my blog. As if reading my thoughts are bad enough, they can see my Britney posed celeb shot THEN my tank top rolled up to show you that I've lost 10 pounds. And may be getting abs, thankssomuchTony.
Sorry I've been a wee snarky lately. I'm actually really thrilled that more people are reading. I just won't admit because I'M INSECURE. there I said it.
update: anonymous commenters and those without an email attached- remember to leave your email address in the comments ie email (at) whatever (dot) com. ya know, to avoid the spammers.
Win this necklace
I'm delighted to announce Imperfect Daisies' first ever giveaway from ScienceAndPoetry. Two Aussie sisters on a mission to make timeless, unique, elegant (yet everyday) jewelry! Right. up. my. alley. (And since I'm jealous of all you people who get a chance to win, I went ahead and and am buying one for myself.)
For a chance to win this necklace, visit ScienceAndPoetry's Etsy shop and tell us what your favorite piece is. A winner will be chosen at random on April 1st. Good luck!
*No Blogger, NO! K, people, the pics didn't post correctly, so I just put up my day 0 and then now (day 60). Oh boy this is getting confusing.
This picture right here is for you Mom, Dad, Mom's friends, Friend's Husbands and My Dignity:
Let's make this all clear. I am not that type of person who would post my picture in a sports' bra, or a string bikini. I simply wear a tank top, then roll it up.
I put this particular picture up to note 1) Mr Incredible takes notoriously bad pictures. 2) I look like Britney Spears being accosted by papps in a 7-11 with a bag of Doritos. This would be the cover Star Magazine. Or Globe. (global? what's it called?)
Measurements are what I've lost from day 0-60, then from 30-60. Brain Energy, k?
Weight: -10 pounds, -6 pounds
Chest: -2 1/2, 0
Waist: -3 1/2in, -1 1/4in
Hips: -3 1/2 in, -3 1/2 in
Rt thigh: -2 3/4in, -1/2 in
Lf thigh: -2 3/4 in, -1/2 in
Rt arm: -1 1/4 in, +1/4
Lt arm: -3/4 in, 0
K so on to the pictures: This is even confusing to me. So first picture per line is Day 0 Day 30 then Day 60. With me? So the white tank top is most recent.
And lastly, the diet. We are not trying to follow the p90x part, but we've both just been eating much better. Less carbs and sweets, and normal people filling foods.
My motivation is lacking like WHOA. I'm kinda ready to be done.
I've been substituting in runs and swimming instead of doing the cardio videos. I feel better after running outside, or swimming than staying inside my house do The Cardio/Kenpo video. Again.
So there you have it, my promised people. Encourage me for the last 30 days, k?
Big things are happenin' around here, people. First of all, Imp Dais has a facebook page. Tell me that's not serious. (look at the button on the side. okay, look at both of them. which do you like better?) I'm thinking about sending out a page invite to all my Facebook friends but THAT is commitment. And we know how I feel about commitment. I'm facebook friends with ex boyfriends and people that I might like to trash talk at some point. (relax, I'm kidding.)
BUT BUT BUT. I've got a few giveaways under my belt. So you just might want to let people know about this awesome blog and get ready to win free stuff. Just because I love you.
I know! I mayyy be getting slef centered, or I just may be bragging that I Was An Irish Dancer. But BUT you guys want to know details, well, I'll dish the details.
Since I only have so many pictures to share until Shakedown Round II, work with me. Foxy requested the second picture. I like her, so like I promised- here it is.
The picture is NOT of me Irish Dancing. Irish Dancers keep their hands at their sides. (Also known as Fire and Ice. Get it? Frozen arms, hot feet. no. Hott feet. better.) But it is me being a seventh grade ham, and that is my cousin in the background with her hair net in keeping her real curls curly. Sometimes even Irish Dancers have to roll Lunch Lady Style. Dat coo.
And now I'm going to go retrieve this other photo from the room that the baby is sleeping in. I told you I was faithful to you.
You can rest assured that I'm back, baby didn't wake up and AND I found more than one pictures. I'm still deciding how much is too much. But I will share this pic with you:
This answers Kristen and Salt's question about THE HAIR. Basically the night before an event, you sit at the kitchen table with a bottle of goop goop goop for hair and a hair brush and hairspray, and your mom takes like, 12 pieces of hair, goops it, sprays it then curls it in curlers. It took probably a good two hours. and 200 hundred curlers. (mom correct me if I'm wrong.) Then you wrap your head with every handkerchief you can find in your house to avoid getting the sleep frizzies. (see above) In the morning you pull the curls straight down and VOILA! Awesome hair. (Mom, I don't think I've ever said a good hearty "thanks." THANKS!)
Salt also asked how I got into Irish Dancing. When I was in kindergarden or first grade I saw some Irish Dancers performing and I beggggged my mom. We didn't have a school nearby, so we waited. Then in third grade a new Irish Dancing school opened up in the town I lived in. My mom signed me up asap.
Also, Salt, when we competed at competitions (called feis' said like fesh) we would win medals and trophies. But that will be for another post. Maybe next St. Patty's Day. :)
I'm leaving this post with a thick layer of self centeredness on me. But that's just blogging, no?
I hope you appreciate how undyingly faithful I am to you. I did a shakedown in my parents' house TOP TO BOTTOM yesterday looking for some Irish Dancing photos. You don't understand. We probably have THOUSANDS and the fact that I could find nary but a handful was absurd.
And then finally. After I found every single date dance and prom picture with every boy in Buffalo (lie. Maybe like 6) and London pictures and carousing like a fool pictures, finally. I found 2 Irish dancing photos.
I know you don't care that much.
But I am committed to you, you fools.
I do not have their permission to put their photos on the 'net. I'm on the far right. This was at the Nationals, and this was my 4 hand team. Because you care.
That is our real hair. Danged new fangled kids now wear wigs. That hair was blood, sweat and tears.
I am too lazy to scan the other picture, and I know you don't care that much. If you do, leave a message and if I like you at all, I'll put the other one up there.
Warning: This may be one of the most obnoxious posts yet. And because it's 5 o'clock somewhere I can do what I want. I do what I want. Watch me interview myself, and judge me.
Me: Is it true that you've already accomplished Bailey's in coffee, the zoo, an Irish festival that included Corned Beef and Guiness? O'Me: O'Yes it is Me: And rumor has it that Irish Cream Brownies are baking as we speak in the oven O'Me: O'HellzYes Me: Why wouldn't Mr O'Incredible let you have a car bomb at the Irish festival? O'Me: The practical side o' him said it was only 12 in the afternoon. I translated that as, "You already have a car bomb brewing in your tummy."
Me: How come you let Mr O'Incredible buy that $20 shirt and mug that has zero relevance to life?
O'Me: Irish are generally irresponsible particularly after a drink or three
Me: You wouldn't really let your kids drink Bailey's- or would you?
O'Me: I don't share.
Me: Did you bring more flashback pictures from your Irish Dancing days?
O'Me: O'No I forgot. Stay tuned. If they're not up by tonight it's because I fell O'sleep. They'll be up in the morning, latest.
O'Yes I realize that the Bailey's is in place of my third child. Sorry, third child.
Oh, just the bane of my existence. Called ladybugs. Everywhere.
If you think this is cute, or funny, or you're just apathetic, you're wrong wrong wrong. And I think you need to go to therapy because that is MESSED up if you don't mind ladybugs crawling everywhere. I'll tell you where they are- they're on the chair I'm sitting in and they're on our backdoor and windows and walls walls walls (sorry if this is turning into a children's book book book)
I've always hated bugs. Any. sort. of. bug. But imagine the day that I found out that not only do ladybugs crawl around and have antennae, but they FLY too? That took away the 9% in me that might've been able to stand them.
And THEN imagine me in high school wondering why it was so dark in the hallways, just to realize that it was because ladybugs were infesting the windows to such a degree that it wouldn't let light in. Sick Sick Sick.
To make matters that much worse, imagine having three girls (one of which does not care) and the other two scared of the damn insects and wanting ME to take care of the problem. I'm not sure what's worse- having bugs around or trying to smush them.
"I don't want the ladybugs to get me"
"ladybugs won't get you"
"I sceered of ladybugs"
"No reason to be scared of ladybu... EEHHAHHHHHHHH!" as a ladybug flies towards my face.
what's the secret to ridding these nasty (but cute looking) creatures?
You know what I'm doing today. But if you're not as brave/irish as I, you can sit inside and enjoy watching the rain and heck maybe even light a fire. If this is what you do, do me a favor and make AT LEAST one of the following. Your taste buds will be eternally grateful and your hips will forever shake their fists at me.
1. Irish Cream Brownies (your hips will just shake its head sadly at you, not shake its fists because these are from Cooking Light.)(warning that I choose not to follow: Cooking Light recipes are only beneficial if you don't eat the whole pan.)
1 cup all purpose flour 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa 1/4 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp salt 1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips 1/4 cup butter 1 cup sugar 1/2 cup egg substitute (or 1 egg+1 egg white) 1/4 cup Baileys Irish Cream 1 tsp vanilla Cooking spray
1. preheat oven to 350 2. Lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup, level with a knife. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk. 3. Place chocolate chips and butter in a large microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high 1 1/2 minutes or until chocolate chips and butter melts, stirring every 30 seconds. Cool slightly. Add sugar and next three ingredients, stirring well with a whisk. Microwave on high until sugar dissolves, stirring every 30 seconds. Fold in the flour mixture, stirring just until moist. Spread batter in a thin layer in a square 9 inch baking pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until wooden toothpick comes out almost clean. Cool on wire rack. (16 servings) 145 calories 5 grams fat, 1 gram of fiber (or you can just eat the pan and water and carrot sticks and call it a day.)
2. Irish Snugglers Hot cocoa (or coffee just in case you think saving 70 extra calories is worth it) 1 shot Baileys 1 shot Kahlua 1/2 shot Peppermint Schnapps Whipped cream. NOT cool whip, please for the love of everything green, just use whipped cream
Add the Bailey's and Jameson to a shot glass, layering the Bailey's on the bottom. Pour the Guinness into a pint glass or beer mug 3/4 of the way full and let settle. Drop the shot glass into the Guinness and chug. If you don't drink it fast enough it will curdle and increasingly taste worse.
I'm really not the hoarding type of person, but when I was younger (like 5th grade) my grandmother gave me one of her bathing suits. Now this is not your typical gramma bathing suits. My grandmother was glam con cigarettes all the time. Love the feathas type. Even towards the end when she was oxygen she would look women up and down.
I love love love my Grandmother.
So today when we were getting ready to go to our local indoor pool (for all of you who were in shock the last time I mentioned a pool in the winter) I decided I didn't want to wear my old old suit (yellow Victoria's Secret bikini circa 2002)((I don't wear it aymore))(((actually that's what I wore instead of a maternity bathing suit)))((((I got looks all. the. time.)))), my old bathing suit (last summer green tankini. MOM SUIT), new suit (Athleta brown not sure if it fits yet one piece). I wanted to try on my grandmother's very Juicy Couture-ish black glam bathing suit. 20 years old? 30? 40? 50? No joke. It very well could be 50 years old. Looks like this, only black with spaghetti straps (via Design Mom).
So I put it on, which in itself is a mini triumph because my Grandma was PEEEE tite.
Mr Incredible: awesome suit. Is that your new one?
me: no, it was my Grandma W's.
him: no really, is that the one that just came? I love it.
me: no really, it was my grandma's
him: okay (rolls eyes) where did you get it then?
me: the bin from my parent's basement
him: you can tell me you bought another bathing suit, I won't mind
me: I SWEAR ON MY GRANDMOTHER'S SOUL it was hers and now it's mine. circa 1950.
him, feeling the material: they didn't make bathing suit material like this back then.
me: ok. It was my grandmother's bathing suit.
So off we trot to the pool. I understand now that I should've realized that my grandmother was not athletic. She loved fashion, she loved her smokes, and she loved looking good. I probably should not have swam laps in this leisure suit of sorts, but alas! I swam laps, talked to the guy next to me, waved frantically at my kids in the kiddie pool. WITH THE HEADLIGHTS ON. AND OUT. true story the end.
I have this terrible tendency to get so enveloped in a book that it actually becomes my life (in my head).
I just finished reading The Good Wife Strikes Back. I think I might have liked it, but I'm not really sure. It surely made my life rather disconcerting for a week or so. And it really really made me want to drink wine all. of. the. time.
I loved the way the author writes, and I loved all this crazy underlying symbolism in like, every sentence.
However, I'm pretty sure that I am a sommelier, my father just died, I'm a trophy wife to a politician, and I have a really clean fancy house. And I eat bacon and bread and tea all the time. reality: I don't know wine (I like pinot noir- that's all I know), my dad is kickin', I'd be a trophy wife if I got out of my pajamas at a decent hour, my house is neither clean nor fancy. It's debatable whether or not I eat bacon, bread and tea all of the time. Most of the time would be more suitable to say.
I also realize that I'm writing like an English woman. Terrible? Disconcerting? Rather? Suitable? uh huh.
I'm fantastically excited about our kitchen project that is going to be happening soon. We're getting it redone! For a while we were thinking that maybe we could do a family fun redo ourselves. That is until I heard the horror stories of it.
When we bought our house, the kitchen was the one FAIL. of it:
and the wallpaper and curtains and liquor bottles strewn throughout the house and the stench of dog and the monkeys and cougars in the master bedroom and the mirrored wall and candles and wax (sex freak? maybe). But all those things are quick fixes. (this picture is from the inspection. NOT our mess. My mess is less red checked washcloths and much more fingerpaints. and Us Weeklys. and protein bars)
So we're having a kitchen guy come on Monday to pick our brains. I'll probably pick his more.
Is there anything you love/would change about your kitchen? What do you think is a MUST for a kitchen? Let me know your suggestions! I've got to get my gears in motion!
I'm not one to quickly give my opinions on topics. I usually like to take in all sides and make a well thought out, educated decision.
However, these two things bothered me from the second I saw/read them until now:
First: Eva Longoria Parker opened up a nightclub in Las Vegas called Eve. What I (think) I read from Us Weekly is that she hires midgets to dress up as Oompa Loompas. I just read that no, not the case. The Oompa Loompas were just hired for the party. Hiring midgets to paint their faces orange to go to a party as an accessory? twisted. (I know that's not ELP but AnnaLynn McCord was there)
Second: Understand that I know that no one hearts the Duggars. But I read the article about them in People and a Dr SoandSo says that have that many children in is irresponsible because they cannot give the financial and emotional support that each child needs. ! My ass.
a) the Duggars have ZERO DEBT. more than I can say.
b Those children will have more love and security than most. I'm sure Dr SoandSo wanted one boy and one girl and he probably shoved them out the door to Day Care at 6 weeks so he could provide a beach house AND seasons tickets to Six Flags AND and awesome house with a house cleaner that no one ever sees because no one is ever home.
So instead of all the criticism (because everyone is jealous that the Duggars got famous by having tons of kids and they didn't... although- how DID Andy Milanakos do it? you know, "I've got a pea on my head but don't call me a pea head."?) (And I do realize that I just criticized Eva and the Doc) why can't we all just say, "Jim Bob Duggar, you're a sweet talkin' machine." ??
I've fallen into the slippery slope of reading everyone's blogs instead of writing on my own. Damn you, Google Reader! I'm a creature of habit and when things change I typically take the road mostly traveled.
So what have I been up to, you ask? Well, I'm putting in 140% awesome mom right now. I had this kick in the face realization that this is what I've got. This is their one and only childhood in my hands. Tv can wait, facebook can, frantically cleaning the house just because can kiss me arse. Hells. Even the Office and The Mentalist can wait.
I've decided that we need to do more story time (recommended is 20 minutes a day- not as easy as it sounds), more crafts, more hands on, more outside, more library, more friends. In fewer words, I had to pull my shit together. So that's exactly what we've been doing.
I paid my $110.86 fee to the library. That's right. And was it bittersweet or what? stop judging me. now. We have been reading a lot of books.
We've been doing lots of crafts. We made those bird feeders with toilet paper rolls and peanut butter and bird seed. We hung them up on our snowman's arms with pipe cleaners. Unfortunately I didn't foresee our family of deer and their extended relatives eating them. Come spring I hopefully will not find dead deer in our yard with perforated bowels. (Why is it that pipe cleaners are the staple to children's crafts, yet really all they are is fuzzy stuff wrapped around really sharp wire?)
We made these little pretzel snowmen. I swore up and down that they would not tempt me no matter how hungry I was. ha. wrong. I ate every last one of these M effers. oh, in two hours.
Funny thing about this is I seem to have more hours in the day, the house is more effortlessly tidier, everyone is happy. One of those phenomenons.