That was a Hell of a Hump

Wowzers those last few posts (apart from the Koreans) left this blog in ill standing.  Well to me, anyway.  I really have no interest in reading the last few posts.  Actually I never have any interest in reading any of the previous posts.  They make my blush and feel nauseous.  Don't know why I'm the author of a blog.

I'm on the up and up, finally.  I've overcome my quick bout of Depersonalization Disorder (thank you Kim Iverson and Casey Anthony for putting a name to my mind/body disconnect.)  I can once again formulate thoughts, articulate feelings, and listen to people without feeling like I'm in an underwater dream.

And then come apologies.  Please excuse me, friends and family for the repeated questions, nonsensical answers, and overall DPD.  I'm sorry to my faithful readers for nary an update, and I apologize to myself for losing about 20 followers and all my readers along the way.

So let's get back to the good ol' days.  Nothing says I'm back to my old self like a few obscure linkups (trying to open my own Etsy shop, here.  Gotta use benefactors where I can find them.)

We're getting a new roof soon, with the lowest estimate at $10,000.  Ten thousand dollars.  ching chong rashem.  Homesecurity greatfalls can be a b$&%^.  But since there always is that silver lining, we can think, ha!  maybe we'll get cable!  www.localtv-satellite.com  If they'll be on the roof anyway we might as well get some sort of entertainment out of it.  (doubt it.  I'd rather shop with the extra $90 a month.)

Other than that, I don't know what to update you with.  But let me leave you with this, my fellow blog people.  I'm gaining weight and for once in my life I don't care.  Dare I say, I'm embracing it.  We'll talk more about that later.  But for now, I have freshly baked cookies awaiting me.

New blog

I'm sure if I add anymore blogs to your reading list you'll need some major saline solution or a travel time machine.  Maybe you'll just need some FreshLook Contacts in case you work your eyes to the nub.  (Although a friend's experience tell me to only soak contacts in a sterile saline solution for contacts- or else you'll do your eyes more harm than good.)  TANGENT.

But have you heard?  I've started a new blog with a bad idea.  90 sans alcohol.  As suggested, and as strong as it sounds, maybe, um, recommended to me.  You'll have to go read it to know what I'm talking about, because I'm not going to label myself with a "drinking problem" on two blogs.  That's too much for my fragile self. 

Speaking of fragile self, I am sick like whooooaaaa today.  Sick as in if I told you anything about it I would be giving you TMI.  But I think it's probably the flu (hopefully 24 hours seeing as though I haven't ralphed in 5 hours.)  Little triumphs, here, little triumphs.  

But at least we all know it's not a hangover I'm nursing.

Put through the wringer

Well congratulations, me!  I've had my first mean anonymous commenters on my last post.  Although, really they're not that anonymous.

I wrote a (mean, in retrospect) comment on someone else's blog.  Along the lines of, wow that was boring. Only because I'm every day thoroughly entertained by this person.  I've read the blog for at least a year every day, sometimes checking MORE than once in hopes that there'd be another post.

My comment:  funny?  Apparently not.  Hurtful?  Apparently so.  But whoa Uncle Sam did I get some nassssty things said about me.  On that blog.  On facebook.  AHHHH and such is the life of being able to say whatever you want to another person because this is all virtual.

Hey, at least I didn't try to disguise myself and comment as Anonymous.  Righteous.

I get by with a little help from my friends (followers?)

We all remember the days of celebrating when we'd have one more follower.  I remember clearly the day that I was up to my fourth follower and first random commenter.  I shouted for joy and told Mr Incredible (among others) and I quote: "A professional blogger commented!"  I'm realizing a year or so later that she wasn't "professional" she had a lot of followers.  Again, my mantra applies, tomato tomahto.
.....
Wait.  Who am I kidding?  I still wait for just one more follower.  And a different commenter.  Heck!  I even got an anonymous commenter the other day!  The only reason I was sad was because I wasn't verbally harassed by he she (it?).  And I'm still, STILL waiting for the day I get a Cambodian spammer in my comments section.  That's official like relationship status on facebook official.

But alas.

So I'm imploring your help.  Because when Jen says that she's blogging for her job (pffff) and Emcy asks "how do you have 104 followers?  Not that I care how many followers I have...*trailing off...* (pfff) and Rose is "online journaling" we all just know that they are new bloggers who haven't come to grips with Step 1: Admitting.  Admitting that we are powerless over our need to be noticed.  To have followers.

We all want to be leaders of a circus.  In our case, it's a virtual circus.  Which is pretty thought provoking.  Descartes, anyone?  (Rose?)

So I'm going to strongly advise you to go read their blogs and follow.  Follow.  Follow.  And I'm going to proudly list them on my blog roll under my (not yet existent) Friends and family Blogs.  I always thought those friend and family blogs were such a Below the Belt Move.  Like saying, "these are outrageously awesome blogs under 'My Faves,' but please excuse my Friends and Families' blogs."  Not so, friends.

I guarantee youll be slightly envious of their way with words.  Dormant Gloria Steinman?  Yes please.  Delightfully and maybe overeagerly assisting policemen (while describing her husband as having a 'clipped bark'?)  Uh thank you yes.  Chicken wings (too many?)?  Forgetting to  take out the garbage (again?)?  Now that is empathy at its finest.

I think I'm ready

Whoa now that was one heck of a hiatus.

Hi!  I'm back and I might even be ready to commit.  Fingers crossed.

For a while there I just kinda lost my mind.  I'm busy being bored.  Bored as in Mr Incredible is home 6 hours a night and I need. to. fill. the. days.  So I shop.  I shop for food, I shop for me, I shop for Mr I, I shop for my family, I shop for birthdays that will occur in November.  Expensive habit, I know.

I've also been busy being American.  Because if you're not busy in July then you're not American and your passport should be revoked immediately.  Many a hotdog's been ate and an icecream cone been slurped (lie I don't like cones).  Beaches have been tread upon and pool's a peed in.

The whole gardening spiel that I wrote about?  Niet.  Too sticky, too many bugs.  And it only looks okay.  Which, if you think you know me, means that my towel is just about thrown in.  For this year anyway.

See you tomorrow?

Throwing in the proverbial towel. Or at least wanting to.

I'm stuck.  Winnie the Pooh stuck.  If I just don't eat the damn honey I can get out of what I started.  But I love honey.  And so it goes with blogging.

I went out for a delightful wonderful time with my good friends tonight.  In absolute passing they mentioned how my blog is scratch your eyes out uppity.  Of course this is what stuck with me for the rest of the night.  That I don't let on to my true self, feelings, etc.  Other people have said the same thing to me.  And a friend's friend read my blog (once) and thought I'm super perfect.  (wait, okay, I just flattered myself a million times over, but that's along the lines of what people were saying).  I do try to take a positive spin on my blog.  a) who wants to read people's woes? (answer: a lot of people.  so they can "relate.") b) what if ex boyfriends are reading this (answer: yes, I'm that vain) c) why the h would I want to air my dirty laundry (answer: at least my dirty laundry is smeared bananas on the shoulders of shirts)

But honestly, I've had a pretty shitty week.  Then again, "shitty" is relative.  I could not think of a life that I'd rather have.  Because I love my life.  So I guess this all is the viscous cycle of am I acting cheerful or AM i cheerful?  TBD.

Mr Incredible and I have been at each other's throats.  I (still) haven't printed one picture since my 8 month old was born.  I've hung nary a picture on our wall to decorate the house.  When I asked Mr Incredible if my love handles were coming back he answered that "maybe I should just start walking some more." (no, that's not emotionally abusive or insensitive, I expect him to answer those types of questions in honesty)  My kids, particularly the eldest, are painfully shy and it can be so frustrating sometimes because people cannot see all that she has to offer.  Sometimes I feel like in wanting to please everyone I please no one.

But really?  That's really what I have to complain about?  I have a good life.  I suppose it is a cheery life, full of life, love and more love.  But I do fight with my husband, yell at my kids, make a fool out of myself, and have elephants and cougars and a mirrored wall in our bedroom.  I'm fiery and emotional and sometimes feel not good enough.  It's not perfect, but what is?

Maybe 'Imperfect Daisies; The Tale of a Real American Housewife' should be more like The Tale of a Cheerful American Housewife; or Sarcastic American Housewife; High Strung, Low Energy American Housewife; Disregarding American Housewife

SUGGESTIONS?  you know I love your opinions.

Blogs, we have a problem

I opted out of the blog roll scene for ohsay one week.  No bien.  I thought it would be a good idea because then I wouldn't have to weed out the blogs that I don't read every day, and I wouldn't have to show everyone what I was reading or not.

Instead my head turned into a fuddled mess every time I came on the computer.  "now which blogs was I hoping to read, again?"

So we're back.  And my blog roll is growing and growing and I love it and I'm overwhelmed.  And I'm not even done adding blogs.

Anyone else overwhelmed by this?  In other words, so many blogs, so little time.

New Leaf

First things first.  Hello 3 column minima template sans ShabbyBlog background.  Welcome.  I'll be honest.  I never really ever actually notice anyone else's template/background/layout unless it's really rockin'.  AAalmost never.  So I really don't expect that you've ever noticed mine.  BUT isn't it beautiful?  My technologically, beautiful, smart smart savvy smart cousin figured out my html hell I was in.  I am SO excited.  When I asked Mr Incredible to look at my "new blog" he said, "was. it. the. chad?"?   Um no.  New layout.  Not blog post title.  But you might have never seen the old one.  And that's cool (kinda).

So speaking of Mr Incredible and all his incredible-ness, he is starting an accelerated (I told you he's above average) school program.  Basically it's four years of school all crammed into one.  And he'll be working all the while.  Ahmazing.  (orange you glad I didn't say incredible?)  Fifty. four. credit. hours.  In the next 365 days.  

And of course, since this is my blog and solely about me-ow I'll tell you how this directly effects me. 

...

...

K, I'm not really sure.  But I'll be damned if I don't have three meals a day served every single day of the next 365.  For some reason the only way I can think to contribute is with food.  And cleaned and ironed clothes.  (have I ever told you how much I luuurve to iron???)  Any other suggestions?  Should I be doing more?  Less (never)?

via

Me.  Pearls, yes.  Black turtleneck under blue polka dots, no.  Grey hair, kill me.  Pink napkin, Incredible wouldn't be caught dead.  Second degree burns due to chicken casserole steam, hope not.

Was it the chad?

I've lost a total of three (or was it four?) followers in the past 2 weeks.  I realize that people who "follow" don't necessarily read.  I also understand that people want to weed out the blogs that they don't actually read.  It doesn't make the sting go away though.

I've been thinking a lot about unfollowing blogs that I don't read.  I would rather not have a blog roll and instead have my own reliable list of blogs I enjoy.  After losing "so many" (<- relative) followers though, I'm not sure I want to put anyone else through the disappointment.  Frankly, it sucks.

So, was it the chad?

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody

I need a computer dweeb, quick.  Dweeb is not offensive, it's endearing.  Now someone go get me a computer dweeb.

If you've been obsessively checking my blog in the past 24 hours like I obsessively check some of yours, you know that the blog templates have been beaten and thrown to the ground.  Then rebeaten then trampled on.  And guess what?  Naught without labor.  Or naught with labor.  Because it's NOT doing what I tell it to and shabbyblog I swear to the stars if you don't let me take your backgrounds off my blog I will singlehandedly html you until you cry.

So.  Can someone help me?  I'm a technological idiot.  Or can you direct me to where to go!?  I'm pulling out my hair when I should be writing sweet posts about doll heads and iced coffee.
kthanks.

via

It's the weather, i'm sure

What have you been up to lately?  Wait wait, don't tell me.  I'll go read your blogs that I haven't read in 2-3 WEEKS.

I've not noticed until now that these past two to three weeks have been bad.  1) no blog.  2) no p90x (THAT might be for a different post) 3) eat. eat. eat. eat. eat. 4) minimal exercise.

These are the things I care about people.  Being fat and virtual people.  I think a screw's loose.

I have noticed, however, that I am not nice when I don't blog.  So you might be hearing from me a little more.

I have more giveaways, but somehow in some virtual way the last two (even though I LOVED doing it) completely exhausted me.  I don't know why/how.  Stay tuned.

via

I think I need a nap.

Why Am I Doing a Giveaway?

Good question.  I'm doing a giveaway because I feel like it.  I always thought it would be fun to do a giveaway.  Finally I put a little effort into it and it's happening!

But my excuse for the giveaway?  Well, it's Mr Incredible's birthday on Thursday.  Since I have no idea what to get him, I thought I would give my favorite virtual people ever a gift instead.  Oh, AND my birthday is in April.  So how fun will April be?  You betcha.  April showers (of gifts) bring May flowers (of your eternal love for me because I only host the COOLEST giveaways in town.)  

While you eagerly wait for April 1st (promise I won't fool you on the winner of the giveaway) I have to fill up the displayed posts with jibber jabber.  Why? (geez, you're all so full of whys)   Because I announced (for about 4 minutes) on MY facebook page that I have a blog AND left the link.  (I only invited certain real life facebook friends people to the Imp Dais' facebook fan page.)(Take note- Mr Incredible is a fan)(take note- he still has yet to comment.)

So anyway- Why is this a problem?  Because 1) I'm now in a very vulnerable position because now all my ex friends and ex boyfriends can read all my thoughts and letters to YOU, virtual friends. And more importantly 2) My p90freakinx pictures are slapping you in the face as soon as you enter my blog.  As if reading my thoughts are bad enough, they can see my Britney posed celeb shot THEN my tank top rolled up to show you that I've lost 10 pounds.  And may be getting abs, thankssomuchTony.  

Sorry I've been a wee snarky lately.  I'm actually really thrilled that more people are reading.  I just won't admit because I'M INSECURE.  there I said it.   

and don't forget to enter the giveaway

This is getting serious

Big things are happenin' around here, people.  First of all, Imp Dais has a facebook page.  Tell me that's not serious.  (look at the button on the side.  okay, look at both of them.  which do you like better?)  I'm thinking about sending out a page invite to all my Facebook friends but THAT is commitment.  And we know how I feel about commitment.  I'm facebook friends with ex boyfriends and people that I might like to trash talk at some point.  (relax, I'm kidding.)

BUT BUT BUT.  I've got a few giveaways under my belt.  So you just might want to let people know about this awesome blog and get ready to win free stuff.  Just because I love you.

Tuesdays are always blog hell

Here's my blog routine:
Tuesday I begrudgingly blog
Wednesday I'm inspired and want to blog forevvver
Thursday I blog
Friday I want to blog but Fridays are always spectacularly busy
Saturday I want to blog but convince myself that I should take a blog break
Sunday- what blog?
Monday oh that blog.  nah.
Tuesday- I'd better blog or I'll forget about it forever..  and so forth.

HAPPY TUESDAY.

maybe i'll catch you up on my life a little later.

the only reason i wrote this post is to have my p90x body NOT the first thing that you guys will see.

Not here. kinda. *UPDATED W PICS.

I'm over at Travis' of Fisher of Stories today.  I'm super excited to guest blog for him, though maybe a tad intimidated.  Go read (then follow) about my skiing trip last week, and all the wisdom that came along with it.

I'll post pics up here later of the festivities.

this pic does not do my dinner justice.  I'm telling you, it was huge.

our condo looked right out to the slopes.  ski in ski out condos.  with heated indoor outdoor pool.

hot tub.  outdoor pool just to the left.

right before skiing.

accurate enough.  

"I JUST WANT A GREEN CIRCLE.  NOT A BLUE SQUARE*."

*green circle= easiest.  Mr Incredible convinced me he was bringing me down a green circle, even though the sign was a blue square (more difficult, but still easy... for some)

showoff. 

last two pictures ,may or may not be us.  but close enough.

I needed to give him a grace period

I know I've been holding out on all of you for far too long.  I'm also aware that no one is dying to know the big question.  I'll go Jeopardy on you and give you the answer, since I know you have no idea what I'm talking about.  No.  Mr Incredible is neither following nor commenting on my blog.  He did read the posts from Incredible Week, though.  No comments.  No Mr Incredible thumbnail picture under my followers.  none. zero. zip. nada.


"...but then I'd have to sign up and get another google account..."  no.  NO.  I'm mean yes.  Nike.  Nike.  Just do it.  Because we alll know that you sign into your google account to check sports 3 times a day.


Okay, actually, I really don't care that much.  But I just wanted to update you guys since *ahem* much effort and participation was put into that week.  Thanks to everyone who participated and commented.  Really, it meant a lot.

Blogging is a priority and i don't prioritize very well

Actually, only half of that statement is true.  Blogging is not a priority.  But I loves it. And depending on who you ask I may or may not prioritize very well.  


On to bigger and better topics- I have a lot to do on my blogging agenda!  1) I have awards to accept 2) I have to catch up on practically two weeks of nada blog 3) let's discuss p90x vs. weight watchers.  I know you're on the edge of your seat.

Thank you for the awards I've received this month!  Yay! I was totally crying to Mr Incredible a while back that I'm a bum blogger because I've never gotten awards (insert his response here)

Thank you to from Samantha at Apple Juice and Milk. !! 

okay so the above I got a little greedy with because it was to anyone.  Who does that?  Someone with no shame.

I'll follow Samantha's rules here and give it to my top 5 KickAss Bloggers:

Ally at Magnolias and Mimosas

Salt at Salt Says

Monique at Triathlete Wife

Jess at Cape Cod Awesome

Hutch at Be Awesome Instead

And then I got this from Salt.  Which I'm pumped about.

I don't think there are any rules, buuuuut if I comment on your blog, then take it.  Means you're doin something right.

These here are from Shandal at My Life in 3D.  My p90x sistaaaaaa.  Thank you so much for thinking of me! This ones rules are that I have to list 7 interesting things about me and pass it on to 7 blogs.

1. I hate the smell of worms on a rainy day after I brush my teeth
2. My thumbs are double jointed
3. It's sick how much peanut butter I can eat on a spoon
4. It's sick how much quiche I can eat.
5. I dislocated my shoulder twice playing basketball and ended up needing surgery.
6. I'm either sick or pregnant if I don't want coffee
7. I've never had a cavity

And I'm happy to pass this on to:

1. Heather at Namaste-Heather
2. Laura at Steam Spectre  and Gypsea Tree
3. Chew at My Life as of 6/18/09
4. Shana at Fumbling Towards Normalcy
5. Nancy C at Away We Go
6. Amanda at It's Blogworthy
7. LMJ at I've Been Thinking

I also got this from Shandal, which is pretty sweet because we're a) blog friends b) p90x friends c) facebook friends.  So booya'll.

Since there are no rules, I'll just pass this on to my own newly blog friends:

1. Salt
2. Allyson
3. Jess
4. Hutch
5. T!nk (whether you know it or not, we are friends you know, T!nk)
6. Monique
7. Cee

And since I know that I missed out on people I want to give blog awards to, I'll come back later and update.  I haven't been on the computer in what seems to be agesssss and I have the brain capacity of an ant. 

And I'm too tired (now that this post took me approx 10 hours) to talk about p90x vs. weight watchers or the past two weeks of me life.

I know you didn't think you just entered into a contest, but in fact, you did.

So as you all know, I had a pretty bad day.  I'll probably get into it tomorrow when I have more energy, but I've got to say.  You folks really brought it today.  I mean.  I feel fat.  I'm tired, my house is a wreck blah blah blah.    Oh, and while grocery shopping my HUGE cart with a car in the front and carseat in the back that I wasn't using because I was carrying the baby crashed into one of those sticker printing produce thing and it fell over and smashed into a million pieces.  I threw up my white flag and walked away.  That was just the type of day I was having.  But you guys.  I'm pleased with the company I was in today.  So thank you for sharing your misery.

But maybe my day wasn't so bad after all:

Namaste-Heather had a pretty bad day, I think.

Blog School

Important Note: I like all the blogs I read, or else I would not read them.

The more blogs I read, the more I realize that the blogosphere is high school. Some people loved high school. That's cool, that's weird. The high school-blog correlation is not necessarily a bad thing though, it's just interesting. note: I went to an all girls' school so I'm not talking boy drama. I hope there is no blog boy drama. ew.

I personally know the author's of each of the blogs I read because I went to high school with them. Start getting paranoid, kids. I know what your past consisted of and what your future holds. I wish I could either name names or name blogs, but I do not have the liberty to do that. Someone would get offended, I'm sure, although, frankly, that's just the way you are (or at least come across). No need to get mad at me.

What I am able to do, however, is tell you the pattern. There are always at least 3 groups. There are the cool skankies who party all together and shun everyone else. The leader of the group is decent, but doesn't care about anyone's feelings. But people still drool. Call. Text. Talk like. Act like. Try to joke like. No one's convinced or impressed about/by the others, but they're all still trying to be like Head Honcho. Head Honcho doesn't have a best friend, and if she does she puts her down frequently. And Head Honcho is very private in a weird way. Kind of unpredictable. Disciples of Head Honcho think they can hold their own when they talk and act like her. They fall flat.

Then there is the middle group. Where the disciples would be a heck of a lot cooler if they acted like and stayed in this group. The middle group is each their own person, but make for a dynamic group. However, they don't know each other too well, and feelings tend to get hurt easily. Someone always gets left out, forgotten, not given enough credit asldfkj asldkj asdlfkj. There are little cliques inside these groups, and one person can be involved in more than one clique at a time. Typically people from this group get along well with Head Honcho because they're just cool. Don't put much thought into anything, just act like themselves (probably because of the support system within their class).

Then of course, there are the bottom feeders. Some are bottom feeders because they just are, and some are because they're insecure and don't feel worthy of a higher position (these people are the Head Honcho of bottom feeder because they are generally very nice). First group and this group either know nothing of each other or are great friends (but of course this is kept private or else the class system would get all effed up).

Did you catch all of that?

So now here are the titles (place in appropriate class):

• Smart Head Honcho
• Smart, sexy, cool
• Smart really cool because you hold your own
• Smart wannabe
• Not funny, in middle class
• Ditsy funny, in middle class
• In middle class because you have "connections"
• Smart, funny, insecure, put other people down
• Talk too much
• Talk too much about relationships and babymamas/babydaddys
• Mysterious
• Smart but gets bad grades
• Sporty
• Sporty wannabe
• Head Honcho's bff
• Lowest class but awesome- deserve top class ranking
• lowest class wannabe like LCA (low class awesome)
• lowest class and eff all the rest of you
• me

I have no idea where I fall in any of these categories. Edify me, readers and classmates alike. Where am I? Who am I?

omg omg omg I thought I was over this Identity Crisis.

Twitter

I'm actually quite sure that I'm the only person on planet cyberspace who doesn't have Twitter.  Actually, I do have a Twitter account, but I didn't get it, so I didn't do it.  I forget my username and password.  

I suddenly had an urge (read: kids were all asleep at 645 and have cruised the internet a time or three) to get a Twitter account for Imperfect.  But I clutched because I don't get it.  And because I just keep referring back to this video:  twitter whore


btw i have facebook im not that un vogue.