That was a Hell of a Hump

Wowzers those last few posts (apart from the Koreans) left this blog in ill standing.  Well to me, anyway.  I really have no interest in reading the last few posts.  Actually I never have any interest in reading any of the previous posts.  They make my blush and feel nauseous.  Don't know why I'm the author of a blog.

I'm on the up and up, finally.  I've overcome my quick bout of Depersonalization Disorder (thank you Kim Iverson and Casey Anthony for putting a name to my mind/body disconnect.)  I can once again formulate thoughts, articulate feelings, and listen to people without feeling like I'm in an underwater dream.

And then come apologies.  Please excuse me, friends and family for the repeated questions, nonsensical answers, and overall DPD.  I'm sorry to my faithful readers for nary an update, and I apologize to myself for losing about 20 followers and all my readers along the way.

So let's get back to the good ol' days.  Nothing says I'm back to my old self like a few obscure linkups (trying to open my own Etsy shop, here.  Gotta use benefactors where I can find them.)

We're getting a new roof soon, with the lowest estimate at $10,000.  Ten thousand dollars.  ching chong rashem.  Homesecurity greatfalls can be a b$&%^.  But since there always is that silver lining, we can think, ha!  maybe we'll get cable!  www.localtv-satellite.com  If they'll be on the roof anyway we might as well get some sort of entertainment out of it.  (doubt it.  I'd rather shop with the extra $90 a month.)

Other than that, I don't know what to update you with.  But let me leave you with this, my fellow blog people.  I'm gaining weight and for once in my life I don't care.  Dare I say, I'm embracing it.  We'll talk more about that later.  But for now, I have freshly baked cookies awaiting me.

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. ps this is a major TMI POST

I'm debating about how detailed to get with this post.  This much I'll tell you.  I've never cared so little about drinking 1180 calories worth of cranberry juice in my life.  I will gain one inch (and that's a compromise, calories, so don't push it) around my waist if the burning OH THE BURNING will go away. I do not once more want to sink to my knees because I have to go SO BAD then crawl to the throne and have nothing come out.  Tinkle constipation, friends.  That's what I'll call it.  Because calling it a UTI would be TMI.

So let's leave with a little poll.  You know I love polls.  Situation: We have 1 roll of toilet paper left.  I'm dashing through Wegmans with vitamin C, cranberry juice and water.  I pay, and go into the bathroom so I can make it until I get home.  In the bathroom I realize that we are in the midst of running out of toilet paper (at home), and at the rate I'm going (or not) we'll be out in the morning.  Would it be unethical to steal a roll from Wegman's bathroom?  Remember:  THE BURNING.  I cannot possibly run to the opposite end of the story to get toilet paper.  Let's have at it.

ps.  I did not steal any toilet paper.  I also did not run to the other end of the store to buy some.  I merely put it out of my mind and figured I would cross that bridge when I get to it.  That's always a bad decision.  I always make that decision.

Ay Caramba

I've gone Spanish and come back.

I can't believe I've become just another wasted space in the blogosphere!  I've neither participated or contributed to the blog world.  I'm tellin ya, it's this damn dog. (peppy I'll love you til the ocean turns to yogurt.  Or you get hit by a car.)  peta leave me alone.  He's fine!  Although, he did run into the street today, but since goose, deer and golf cart crossing are all too common on my street the drivers navigated little Peppy just fine.

So how are you, friends?  (I know, the most awkward rhetorical question possible for a blogger to ask.)  I've been good.  Busy.  I have this completely unnecessary itch to spray paint all of the insides of my cupboards.

And I've put myself on a spending freeze.  Why, you ask?  Frankly, I have no idea.  Go figure I made this "commitment" to myself as I was pouring the last glass of milk and chomping on the last piece of produce in our house.  The girls had crushed pineapple for snack today.  My friend and I had champagne and shrimp cocktail for snack today.  And peanut butter on spoons.  Siccckkkk.

I'VE to bed.  I will I WILL check in soon.

Much love from ME to YOU.  Whoever reads this and comments will get a special prize.  I'm not sure what yet, but believe me.  Because YOU are my faithful ones.