Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. ps this is a major TMI POST

I'm debating about how detailed to get with this post.  This much I'll tell you.  I've never cared so little about drinking 1180 calories worth of cranberry juice in my life.  I will gain one inch (and that's a compromise, calories, so don't push it) around my waist if the burning OH THE BURNING will go away. I do not once more want to sink to my knees because I have to go SO BAD then crawl to the throne and have nothing come out.  Tinkle constipation, friends.  That's what I'll call it.  Because calling it a UTI would be TMI.

So let's leave with a little poll.  You know I love polls.  Situation: We have 1 roll of toilet paper left.  I'm dashing through Wegmans with vitamin C, cranberry juice and water.  I pay, and go into the bathroom so I can make it until I get home.  In the bathroom I realize that we are in the midst of running out of toilet paper (at home), and at the rate I'm going (or not) we'll be out in the morning.  Would it be unethical to steal a roll from Wegman's bathroom?  Remember:  THE BURNING.  I cannot possibly run to the opposite end of the story to get toilet paper.  Let's have at it.

ps.  I did not steal any toilet paper.  I also did not run to the other end of the store to buy some.  I merely put it out of my mind and figured I would cross that bridge when I get to it.  That's always a bad decision.  I always make that decision.


  1. i hope you're feeling better... they have over the counter medicine that works wonders until you get to the doctor. anyway, i would do just what you did, cross that bridge when you get to it :)

  2. yeah antibiotics asap,, but be warned those drugs turn your pee CRAZY orange (and can dye your clothes),, but otherwise super fun and super effective.

    also you can drink gatorade too in between crans :)

  3. I would like you to know that it's perfectly acceptable to borrow toilet paper in any emergency. It is also perfectly acceptable to pry open the maxi pad machine in the gas station when all you have is a credit card. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And more than a little patience and understanding from others. I hope you no longer scream in agony when you tinkle.

  4. I'm so sorry for you tinkle constipation....that is sucha bummer!I's say a trip to the pee doctor right away!!! And, there is no shame in stealing TP....