Foodie Unleashed

I am a true blood foodie.  This isn't a condition, this is me.  It's as innate as survival to me, not just a too comfortable marriage, a backfired eating disorder, or stress.  I love food.  Really any food, apart from mussels or cannolis.  When I was a tender age around three or four and someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I replied, "eat nutritious foods!"  And that is as to the core as I can get.

beef barley soup and oranges, more accurately

Now imagine a foodie unleashed via pregnancy.  Yes, imagine.  We're talking Hostess cupcakes and spaghetti with butter and cheese and squash with brown sugar and grapefruit! and ginger ale with maraschino cherries! chicken, (so gross), elbow noodles (never mention that word again), bologna! salad with bacon and bleu cheese and pickled onions (for realz), mango coleslaw (do it) (ps that is a link on my own accord.  First time in a while, I know.  It will actually lead you to a real website, not San Diego car repair or Minneapolis real estate.  heh.).  You get the picture.  But that's only in the evenings.


Did you see this past weeks Glee about drinking awareness?  And all of the students and Mr Schuester come to school wiht sunglasses on because of their hangovers?  And Mr Schue mentions that the principal's cologne is so strong?  This is what my morning are like every morning.  My body wash makes me nauseous.  The smell of coffee, nauseating.  The idea of a Reese's egg is literally vomit inducing.  The foodie in me is nonexistent, and I feel like a sassy and picky fourth grader.  But that hasn't stopped me from  outgrowing my pants.  So soon.  And it's all because of the glorious 1pm-on eating.

The best part about it is when I hit the 50 pound weight gain mark and have the baby, by then I'm burnt out on eating so much junk and all the time.  (knock on wood- chances are just because I'm saying it means this time I won't lose it)  So unlike Giselle, who claims that it is a shame that some pregnant women think of themselves as a garbage disposal, I will eat to my content in preparation for labor.  Because (this is my ultimate fallback excuse) did you know that calorically speaking, going through labor and delivery is equivalent to participating in a triathlon?  Bring it on.  I've got some carbo loading to do.