Tuesday, December 29, 2009

If Shutterfly was Eyeliner I Might Print You Pictures

Just in case you're wondering where I am, did I die, do her posts reflect an unstable nature, know that I'm virtually here, I am alive, and post holidays make me unstable yes they do.  So let's talk about that:

Target's exchange policy says
<---- this, precisely.  I need to exchange my 8x10 frames for 5x7, Target.  No I don't have a receipt, no I do not know where my driver's license is, here is my passport, no that doesn't work?  Head hung low.

I will try my best to print pictures for everyone who has requested them.  In the mean time, assume that my child is beautiful.  I realize that she is nearly 3 months.

I have not done normal household chores in about a week, until today.  Mr Incredible thought it would be best not to tell cyberspace that my kitchen sink stinks of rotten eggs.

Through mind reading, I can tell that people think I am a snobby matriarch.  I'm sure my tendency towards a) a control freakish nature and b) pearls supports this terrible accusation.  

My spending inclinations are on a downward spiral.  This is concerning.  I am becoming of victim of free shipping.  I am the clay pigeon of buy one get one with beverage purchase auntie annes.  I am not getting a snack half price.   I'm getting doubly fat.  This I know.  

Let's wrap this up, shall we?  The following are features of schizophrenia:  emotional blunting  (I just don't care)  Intellectual deterioration (thesaurus.com, dictionary.com)  Social isolation (I blog.  It's a slippery slope.)  Disorganized speech and behavior (for another day I'll tell you about my social inappropriateness.)  Delusions (there are no calories when I eat my kids leftovers because it was theirs)  Hallucinations (I see yellow spots on everything.)


  1. Easy there. Take your meds and remember that what you say about pilfered calories is totally true and proven by science. I can get you imperical evidence if necessary, just don't ask for any pictures of my butt as they may disprove the theory.

  2. whose thinks your a snobby matriach? and btw, i don't think the word matriarch can be used for anyone as young as you!

  3. haha...I never tried to return anything. I wanted to exchange my baby's (who is also almost three months) Bumbo seat. I bought it at Target and thought that the color on the box was the color inside. I wanted a green one, and instead got a blue. I'm too lazy to haul baby, diaper bag, and Bumbo seat into the truck and drive over there. I'll just keep it. Who said blue was only for boys, anyway?