Bread and Beer

Just in case you're wondering what I am doing right now (which you are or else you wouldn't have WWWed my blog) I am eating (ate) homemade baked bread and drinking a beer.  The beer is not relevant.

Mr Incredible got me a bread maker for Christmas!  I've wanted one for a while, but then would get overwhelmed with options and prices and can't I just knead my own bread?  (Which I haven't done since 7th grade with my mom)

I never really got what the point of homemade bread.  Actually, I still don't.  It's somehow gratifying for me now.  Even though I'm not really making it, a machine which is on my counter is.
So anyway, this machine that is sitting on my counter that I added ingredients to just made my first loaf of bread.  And I just ate it with a beer.  Because when you make your own bread carbs and calories just don't matter.

Which reminds me.  Why, on a pack of gum or tic tacs does it say this is "not a low calorie food"?

I was too anxious to search for my camera as I pulled this loaf out of my little machine, so here is a picture of what my bread looked like.  Sans nasty oven mits, $2 bill, old man reading glasses, leather black couch and stench of sour alcohol.

If Shutterfly was Eyeliner I Might Print You Pictures

Just in case you're wondering where I am, did I die, do her posts reflect an unstable nature, know that I'm virtually here, I am alive, and post holidays make me unstable yes they do.  So let's talk about that:

Target's exchange policy says
<---- this, precisely.  I need to exchange my 8x10 frames for 5x7, Target.  No I don't have a receipt, no I do not know where my driver's license is, here is my passport, no that doesn't work?  Head hung low.

I will try my best to print pictures for everyone who has requested them.  In the mean time, assume that my child is beautiful.  I realize that she is nearly 3 months.


I have not done normal household chores in about a week, until today.  Mr Incredible thought it would be best not to tell cyberspace that my kitchen sink stinks of rotten eggs.

Through mind reading, I can tell that people think I am a snobby matriarch.  I'm sure my tendency towards a) a control freakish nature and b) pearls supports this terrible accusation.  


My spending inclinations are on a downward spiral.  This is concerning.  I am becoming of victim of free shipping.  I am the clay pigeon of buy one get one with beverage purchase auntie annes.  I am not getting a snack half price.   I'm getting doubly fat.  This I know.  


Let's wrap this up, shall we?  The following are features of schizophrenia:  emotional blunting  (I just don't care)  Intellectual deterioration (thesaurus.com, dictionary.com)  Social isolation (I blog.  It's a slippery slope.)  Disorganized speech and behavior (for another day I'll tell you about my social inappropriateness.)  Delusions (there are no calories when I eat my kids leftovers because it was theirs)  Hallucinations (I see yellow spots on everything.)

write more?

    

  I'm thinking of actually writing more on my blog.  Or is that a bore?  because people who know me know that once I start, I don't stop.  And an unfortunate series of event in my life has me realizing I'm not that funny.  Shame.  INPUT.  Input, people.  the picture is the illiad.  lay off.

Commitment Issues

I have commitment issues with my clothes.  I do not like to cut off tags.  I'm not that person who returns them after I wash and wear.  Why?  Why?  Why?


unfortunately, my "natural" pose turned out to look like me sticking out my gut.  noteworthy: I made mr incredible take a picture with my tag out for this blog post.  and then blamed him for me looking unnatural.  really.

Direct Quote

A week before Christmas, Mr Incredible and I got a babysitter (read: my mom) so we could go Christmas shopping together.  My favorite moment:

"Why they gotta make these dolls so ugly?"

Capitalizing on the Church and Army

Would I ruin this awesome picture if I were to explain what is really going on?  Or should I just make you think that there was a revolution of sorts at Sunday mass, my Dad overthrew the clergymen, and now I am his trophy daughter, with my trophy kids, of course.

My favorite part of this picture is the Advent candles.  I think it adds to the hilarity of the captured moment.

Really, though?  I don't have it in me to let you think that that's the type of people we are.  Because the truth of the picture is just almost as funny.

• Brother in Iraq
• Church we attend has 24 hour web cam that is on the Church website
• Brother is Baby's Godfather
• Brother could virtually attend baptism (as long as we were on the altar where camera is recording)

Therefore: we collectively agreed on this: why would he pay for internet and we pay for Skype when we can all gather together here?  See you next Sunday, Brother.  

and for all you other people with less of a sense of humor, that is a joke.

I'd Hate to Be That Person...

...but alas!  I will be.  Here are cute pictures of my Favorite People Ever.  Maybe I'll do a Wednesday Family Photo?  Friday Family Foto sounds way more fun, but I wanna start today.  

My Unfinished Dining Room

This past weekend my Mother in Law came to paint (and for Littley's baptism).  This was our dining room before any projects:  (ew.)

Then Mr. Incredible put up (with the assistance of my brother) crown moulding:  (isn't he incredible?)

Then he put up shadow boxes (appliques?) and my MIL painted the whole room.  !  Hurrah! 

The color doesn't look like the above though.  It looks too blue in the picture.  The picture below was the inspiration, and this is what are walls truly look like:

(via martha)

the color we chose is called Gypsy Teal, and the crown moulding and chair rail and below is called Churchill Hotel Lace.  (such pretty names, huh?)

Now I just need to hang pictures, curtains, get a rug, new light (did I really say 'just?').  Stay tuned.

A Giveaway! (not from me, though. sorry folks.)

Remember how I've complained before about how ugly my blog is?  I'm surprised that has only been one post of mine.  Because I think it all the time, and preview more ugly (free) templates nearly every other day.  So how cool is this giveaway?  Check it:

Bloggy Blog Designz is having a super Holiday Giveaway!!!  They are giving away blog designs and all kinds of goodies.  Plus ALL entrants will receive 25% off their purchase through the end of the year!  Be sure to check out their website for more information, or to enter yourself.  Take a look at their portfolio and packages to see what you want for Christmas ;)  With 14 giveaways in all and a 25% discount, everyone is a winner!  www.bloggyblogdesignz.com

Pumpkin Cheesecake, Anyone?

For Thanksgiving, my Mother-In-Law made pumpkin cheesecake.  What's more- the crust was made of gingersnaps and pecans.  Da.
I snatched the recipe when she wasn't looking (lie) and promised (her) I would give it back the next time I saw her.  Well here she is this weekend, and tis time for me to part.  I'll share it with you.  With her permission.  Even though it is a recipe from Food and Family magazine.  (2006)


25 Gingersnaps, crushed (about a cup and a half)
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans
1/4 cup butter
4 (8oz) packages of cream cheese, softened
3 tbs flour*
1 cup sugar, divided
1 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
dash of ground cloves


Preheat oven to 325*F (or 300 if using a dark pan).  Mix ginger snap crumbs, pecans and butter; press firmly onto bottom and 1 inch up side of 9 in springform pan.


Beat cream cheese, flour, 3/4 cup of sugar and vanilla with electric mixer until well blended.  Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing on low speed after each addition just until well blended. 


Remove 1 1/2 cups plain batter; place in small bowl.  Stir remaining 1/4 sugar, pumpkin and spices into remaining batter.  Spoon half of the pumpkin batter into crust; top with spoonfuls of half of the reserved plain batter.  Repeat laters.  Cut through batters with knife several times for swirl effect. 


Bake 55 min or until center is almost set.  Cool completely.  Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.  Cut into 16 slices.  Store leftover cheesecake inrefrigerator.


(You can also bake this cheesecake in a 9x13 baking dish.  Line the dish with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan.  Prepare as directed, decreasing baking time to 45 min, or until center is almost set.)


*Recipe didn't call for flour, but MIL and I both think it would be a good decision for a sturdier cheesecake.


note: this is not fat free vegan  (ha. ha. ha.)

Census is In

My tasteless, sarcastic humor went unappreciated during the morsel's series.  (And I didn't have 27 days worth).  


You did know I was being sarcastic, right?

A Little Spray Paint

I did not want to spend 20, 30, 70 dollars on a new mail box, but ours was prettttty grungy lookin:

 a little metallic spray paint goes a long way, doesn't it?

at some point I might do the detail with a different color, but let's not push it, people.  That project was right up my ally.  

Holiday Morsel 5:27

If you are insecure about a certain gift you've brought to a party, bring extra Gift Tags. Find the best gift on the table (gift bags are easiest to spot), and quietly/casually add your tag to the gift while detaching the original. Be sure to mention to the hosts that in many European countries, gifts are opened AFTER the guests have left.

The Bane of My Existence

I am so. very. grateful.  for all of my family and friends that give us unfaltering support all of the time!  However.  I've always been absolutely notorious with thank you notes.  I have no idea why.  I think they are this big, built up thing in my head that goes right along with my perfectionism (that never gets me anywhere, mind you).  Here's what I think of them:

a) I feel it should be more than three sentences.  A simple 'thanks!' is not enough.  So should I mention the recent death, marriage, baby... (I suck at getting gifts out in any sort of timely fashion, either)?  Should I update them about our life? 

b) The addressing.  Who lives where, what time of year, or did they get evicted?  I don't know.  And did she take his name, or is he Mr. So (next line) she Ms. SoSo even thought they're married?  Are they married?  Did I send them a gift?  Oh wait, that husband died?  Damnit.  I just sent their wedding gift.

c) The stamps.  My one friend sent out all of her last minute invitations for her two year olds party, just to have them sent back to her (on the day of the party) because she used Christmas stamps- which were three cents too short.  Each.  Her kid didn't get any bday gifts from the last minute people who did show (like me, sans gift, that was in August, still deciding on the perfect gift)  Who really has the right stamps?  Oh, really?  You mean people who send their notes out on time?  All the time?  Dang.  Something to consider.

Anyway, long post short.  A rude awakening (a very, very close relative) got me on top of the ball.  My goal on Thanksgiving was to actually get them done.  All 30 of them.  True story.  I got them done. Addressed. (because what better day to give thanks?) Now I've got to go get those stamps.

So friends, family, they're coming.  I promise.  In the meantime, a million sincere thanks.  

And congratulations to all those whose weddings I've missed, babies I don't remember that exist, and grievings that have me tongue tied.  Be patient- good things will come your way.  (I may seem completely self absorbed- I might be- but I really just think my brain is melting)

New Year's Resolution?  yes.

Holiday Morsel 5:27

coupons, coupons, coupons. You CAN get paid to shop. Clip all of the coupons from last Sunday's paper. Put on lipstick and a pushup bra. Shop to your heart's content. Find a dweeby teenage cashier. Show him what you're made of, and give him every coupon you clipped from the previous Sunday. If he questions it, say something like, "oh, really? That's the generic brand?! Golly, I thought that was Nestle."

Holiday Morsel 4:27

While perusing the aisles of your favorite grocery store, be it Tops, Wegmans, Aldi, Price Rite, Walgreens, find your favorite item. Preferably the most expensive item in the store (Cameras, jewelry, salmon from the butcher). Head over to the 'manager's special' (also known as 'discontinued,' 'today only!,' 'expired.') Peel off a sticker from the stale sour patch kids and stick it on the bar code of that favorite item. Congratulations! You just got 20 puonds of fresh salmon for 29 cents. Mazeltoff!

Holiday Morsel 3:27

When holiday food shopping, if running low on cash, hide high-demand frozen items (ie. turkey ) behind the Caravel ice cream cakes, whose sales hit an annual low between November and December.

First Snow

The girls have been talking about the first snow for a while now.  What a way to welcome December 1st!  We ate oatmeal and hot cocoa (isn't that what you're supposed to do on snowy days?) and I sent them out.  
I didn't squelch their spirits by telling them that they'd step in the snow and it'd magically turn to mud