Today was the kind of day that feels like I was stuck in sludge. Woke up tired, drank coffee, brought clan to baby's checkup appointment, went to my mom's to play, came home to play, ate hotdog, ate hotdog again, had unsuccessful naps, self consciously yelled, decided I needed to get my shit together. Again. And what better way to do that than to walk to the grocery store with all three kids? None.
Imagine: Me wearing dangley earrings (not relevant, just adding to the absurdity), skinny jeans, Gap zebra flats and the Moby wrap with (overtired) baby in it. While pushing the double stroller with three year old in back and two year old in front. Get it? Good. Now imagine me pushing the said 100 extra pounds uphill there and back with the wind against me. On two major roads, crossing streets, major parking lots. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. But by golly, kids, we'll have fun.
We get to Wegmans and I realize that I can't really buy that much stuff because a) I can't push a stroller and cart at the same time b) I'll have to carry it all home. With 100 pounds of kids, uphill, wind against me. And skinny jeans.
So I buy the regular basics (yogurt, produce, pasta). I put the heavier (oldest) kid in front to weigh down the groceries that were going to be hanging off the handles in the back (with me?) so I could put the two year old in the Moby and lay baby down in the second stroller seat so she could sleep. Hope you read that slowly. Smart thinking! Now the stroller won't tip over backwards!
I'm walking walking through this large large VERY large parking lot all the while getting crazy stares from people in cars. But I held my head up high like you, Mrs Duggar. Baby is crying because she's so sleepy. Blisters are forming on my feet and two year old says she wants to get down and walk. So I ask three year old (in front seat. Don't you remember that? gee whilickers) if she wants to go in the Moby. She says yes. Baby just fell asleep. Three year old hops out of the stroller so I can tuck her away like a baby kangaroo. And oh shit i forgot that the groceries are still hanging on the back of the stroller with the baby in the second seat sleeping and not buckled in. And on this very busy intersection the stroller tips backwards, baby wakes up, I'm afraid she has brain trauma (she doesn't, the groceries saved her little head). I put crying baby in Moby and the other two walked the rest of the way home with me. And I let them put candy in their yogurt for dinner.
Would I do this again? Of course! It was so much fun. Of course I wouldn't wear skinny jeans and would buckle baby in next time, but other than that, YES! I would. Because let's be honest. Who doesn't like to play the martyr card?