What I've been up to

We've established that I've been royally annoyed with Blogger, no?  In all actuality, that's only about 70% of my excuse as to why I haven't been blogging.  The other 30% is called 'different creative outlet.'  Correct.  I am only able to handle one creative outlet at a time.  Further proving that I'm not naturally creative.  E for effort though.

So anyway.  You know how I go through those "I'm a sucky mom!"  "I'm a hands on mom!" kicks?  Well she's at it again, folks.  This time it's more like "I'm an all natural faux homeschooling mom who only participates in all things warm, fuzzy and mother earth-ish."

The fruits of my labor:

JA!  How cute is he?!  Please realize that this is my first Waldorf (or any other type, for that matter) doll and I'm hooked.  So hopefully my future dolls will look less like they've just had their wisdom teeth out and more like this (this is what I was going to use for Wordless Wednesday...):

no, wait, maybe they are very similar.  My babies are very fat.  Very Fat.  And I like to dress them as close to a fat Buffalo Jills as possible.  OH that's a joke.  That outfit was painted on her.

So back to the dolls.  My friend taught me how to make the heads, which are the hardest part.  Then I stumbled on this site which gives free tutorials et cetera.  I'm so excited to make dolls for our doll house, and more little snuggly dolls.  WHO KNOWS.  Maybe I'll get good enough to actually sell these little beauties!?

The morning after I finished my doll my three year old came in and woke me up and said, "mommy!  I love my doll!"  uh, super cute and Mr Incredible shed a tear or two.  Don't tell him I said that.

this one goes for $125 on Etsy.  I will be a millionaire.  

Lastly, my parent's are away for the weekend at the Sheep and Wool convention in Baltimore.  a) they're picking me up so high quality doll hair wool stuff b) I'm not kidding.  They took a plane.  

I'll post more pics of my up and coming dolls, and hopefully some with hair, too.  Because you carrrrre.

  pps Mr Incredible already told me that his body is disproportionate to his head.  Thanks anyway!

The Winner!

I am so totally beyond frustrated with Blogger; I thought the ridiculous issue would work it's Google magic and figure itself out by today, but bleepin alas.

Were these instructions helpful? Click no no no no no Google.

So, no pictures (it doesn't even give me an option to post pictures), no fun, oh, except for the WINNNNNERRRRRR!!!!

Foxy from the Fox Den!!!! (won't let me do bold or a link, sorry Foxy). Get me your info so I can send it forward!

Dear Blogger

I strongly dislike you and let me actually post my wordless wednesday. stop being so $@$# difficult.

This post took me 24 hours. I'm not sure why.

I promised my ever faithful reader (hi nwright) that I would document my Friday birthday celebration.   She wanted picture documentation, but that stopped real quick after I took the first picture in fancy-ville restuarant and my little samsung flash lit up the entire place and screamed that I am not accustomed to fancy dinners with just the husband.  And that my camera takes embarrassingly bad pictures:

sorry nwright.

I'll start with first things first.  Drinks.  Let me preface this with I had a rough day.  I showed up at my parents' house crying sans makeup, frizzy hair and insisting that neither I nor the kids deserved to have fun because we were all acting crazy.  My ever understanding mother said four simple words that changed my night.  "Go have a Manhattan."  "okay."

Have you ever had a Manhattan?????  I thought it was going to be something fruity delicious wonderful because my parents are NOT drinkers.  I should've known better when the waiter started asking me how I wanted it and with what type of whisky.  Being the obedient child I am, though, I told him to make it on the "sweeter" side (read: straight up rubbing alcohol with a marachino cherry).  First sip made my eyes water and remind me of the first time I drank.  

Bread: Pretzel rolls with butter (mustard would've gone better, Black and Blue)

Appetizers:  Crab and lobster fondue aka cheese cheese cheese with a side of gourmet

Bottle of wine: (should've known even better than the Manhattan)

Dinner:  Mr Incredible got the Paella; spicy clams, lobster, crab, scallops, shrimp, on top of saffron rice.  But that's not really accurate because I don't really remember.  I got short ribs and hangar with bleu cheese mashed potatoes and the biggest awesomest onion rings you could imagine.  I didn't even eat half of it because at that point I went to the bathroom to check to see if my dress was literally splitting at the seams I was so full.  It was not.  This is not a joke.  

Two hours (?) later we left, went to the local icecream shop to pick up cake so I could celebrate with the kids and my parents.  I was too full to eat it, but I heard it was good.

This might've summed up the night:

he looks underage

and i look like a dog.  a dog who just had a manhattan.

Which is more important? my birthday or a GIVEAWAY?

Today is my birthday. 

More importantly, we have another giveaway!!!!

or should it read:  

Today is Friday, April 23rd and we have yet another giveaway.  How fun are these giveaways???

More importantly, it's my birthday.  ???

This day 1986 was a fine fine day when the angels sang and showered down love, beauty and sheer wit unto me to grace all of you.  My middle name is Grace for a reason, you know.  Instead of birth announcements, my parents sent out a Public Service Announcement.  They knew the world would have to be prepared for this.  

But enough about me, let's talk about gifts (for me).  I want more followers.  Mr Incredible has proven to be useless in that area.  You people are the next best thing to his commitment and undying faithfulness.  More followers, please.

But enough about me round two.  Let me give YOU more awesomeness:

Frickin how much do you love these prints?!  I died when I first laid eyes on Horatia.  Go check out Kirby's shop and tell me your favorite piece of art.  She's offering any one of her 4x6 prints to one of you lucky readers!  asd;lfk!

Leave a comment to enter.  Winner will be announced Thursday!

Nothing better to talk about on earth day than the birds and the bees

Of course I wouldn't talk about the birds and the bees.  I don't have sex.

Anygetiton, have you noticed a crazy abundance of girls in the world lately?  I mean, rarely do I see mothers with boys, it's most always little girls.  I'm one of those families, too.  Have we established that I have three kids?  Three girls.

So anyway, Mr Incredible is always like, oh me oh my I have no y's.  I'm always like, oh relax, wouldya?  God told me he won't give you a boy until you learn to open doors for me and treat ladies like ladies.

So even though he loveloveloves his little ladies, I told him after number three was born that he should get a dog.  Someone. Anyone to play fetch with him (although he's hell bent on them all playing softball *coughbutch*.)  After a little bit of talking, we (he) decided that for more than one reasons, we're not going to get a dog right now.  So I'm getting him a boomerang.

Anyway.  My point:  Mr Incredible was in the Army for four years doing somethingsomething somsortoftask that involved radiation.  Turns out, the guys that work with this radiation stuff HAVE NO Y'S.

I've always wanted nine kids since I was little.  But THAT might be too much estrogen.  and shoes.

Thank God girls clothes are cuter than boys clothes.  And there are more girl names than boy names to choose from. (or make up.  whatever you fancy)

Giveaway winner!

Congratulation Salt! from Salt Says!  you've won yourself the Little Tiara artwork giveaway!  Email me you shtuff so I can pass it on to Little Tiara.

Thanks for playing!

If I were the type of person who remained speechless at shocking times, i'd be speechless. absolutely.

I'm probably 10 months behind on this post.  A while ago (oh, say 10 months ago) I heard of Pajama Jeans (PJ, k?  you don't expect me to keep typing 'pajama jeans,' do you?  That's like a tongue twister for my wrists) and I was a little depressed.  Kinda like, okay I know the Snuggie made it big, but that was a long stretch and they're going out faster than you can say 'Snuggies for kids and dogs.'  But you, PJ?  You're not going to make it big.  Maybe in a van down by the river.  But the only thing big about that is the super sized meals four times a day.

Today I reheard of the PJs and became increasingly sad.  Why?  Because I received a catalog (look it up if you're less than twenty years old) in the mail today for Mother's Day that had PJ all over it.  Damn scammers!  They are trying to convince mY HUSBAND that it is okay for ME to wear jeans during the day then while you sleep, then THEN pajamas at night then when you wake up all day.  They're trying to get him to buy it!

Let's be clear.  There are those days that I bum around the house all day and wear my pajamas until it's time to go to bed again.  Those are the days that I apologize profusely to Mr Incredible for being an embarrassing contributor to society and his family and promise myself that I will never forgive myself if he needs to go on prozac at some point in time.  All because I wore my pajamas too long.  That happens about once a week and Mr Incredible doesn't even notice.

Then there are the nights where I drink one bottle too many of wine and coincidentally fall asleep in my jeans, just to wake up the next morning to get on another pair of jeans.  This is not okay either, but hey.  it happens.

All of this being said, I'm starting to like the concept.  joke.  JOKE.  relax.

Do they come in skinny jeans?

I ate too much again ANNNND Little Tiara Giveaway!

Ohhh shoot I was on such a (two day) roll for blogging everyday.  But then, ya know, life happened yesterday and I spent the day shoving my face instead of doing anything else.  It was Thursday, you know.  And you know what happens on Thursdays.  Binge Thursday.  Don't think this is a special occasion or anything.  Without fail, this happens every. single. Thursday.  I just assume you don't want to read about my indignities every Thursday and then my complaints every Friday because I get THE WORST. food hangovers.  All kidding aside.  This morning consisted of lots of coffee and Tylenol.  All because of that damned Sara Lee *light* pound cake and brownie batter out of the box mixed with water to eliminate my chances of saminola and added fat from oil.  I won't list the other foods because a) you don't care b) the ones listed are the ones that put me over the edge.

Shoot.  This is supposed to be the post about the giveaway.  I really need to start seperating my thoughts into different posts.

Onto the giveaway.  So.  Little Tiara and I have been reading (and commenting) on each other's blogs since I began blogging.  Yay.  We go back.  She is offering your choice of any of her posted artwork either as a notebook (sweet) or notecards (maybe that would help me with my correspondence issues).  Awesome!  Click on this link and tell me your favorite piece of her work!  Winner's choice!  Then if you feel so inclined, you should click on this link and read her blog.  She's romantic and girly and all the stuff that I could be if I didn't binge every Thursday.

Winner will be announced next Thursday at Some point in time EST.  Good luck!

Narcissism. And don't walk alone on bike paths.

I've said it once and I'll say it again:  Thank God for Wordless Wednesdays.  I started writing about Altemio Sanchez, Buffalo's notorious bike path rapist of 26 years who was finally caught a few years ago and is sharing a cozy ol' time now with his cellmates called Bubba uno and Bubba dos, but then I realized there was no good way to blog about him.  Although I do have to say that I'm not mad or scared, I'm so so sad for him.  I know, my emotions are twisted in that sort of way.  I told my dad that I was so sad for Altemio and he looked at me and asked if I was equally as sad for his victims and their families (he was a killer, too).  silence.  I've already spent too much money on therapy (that's a lie.).  WHOA rein myself back in.  My point of wanting to start writing at him is, ladies, even though he's in jail and everyone thinks that they're in the clear, you're not.  Don't go on bike paths in woods by yourselves, please?  Thanks.

So onto WW.  You know the only reason I'm putting this is to make up for my lack of smarts from yesterday.

In simpler words, I look glamorous throwing my bonneted baby up in the air whilst wearing pearls and sunglasses.  This was 3 years ago.  What this picture doesn't tell you is that you could not see the floor in our apartment, and since laundry overwhelmed me too much I would just make underwear and undershirt runs to Target.

True stories.

Happy Wednesday!  Oh, and don't forget to check in tomorrow because here goes another giveaway!  (I'm easily persuaded)

I'm a self proclaimed martyr

Today was the kind of day that feels like I was stuck in sludge.  Woke up tired, drank coffee, brought clan to baby's checkup appointment, went to my mom's to play, came home to play, ate hotdog, ate hotdog again, had unsuccessful naps, self consciously yelled, decided I needed to get my shit together.  Again.  And what better way to do that than to walk to the grocery store with all three kids?  None.

Imagine: Me wearing dangley earrings (not relevant, just adding to the absurdity), skinny jeans, Gap zebra flats and the Moby wrap with (overtired) baby in it.  While pushing the double stroller with three year old in back and two year old in front.  Get it?  Good.  Now imagine me pushing the said 100 extra pounds uphill there and back with the wind against me.  On two major roads, crossing streets, major parking lots.  I don't know why I thought this was a good idea.  But by golly, kids, we'll have fun.

We get to Wegmans and I realize that I can't really buy that much stuff because a) I can't push a stroller and cart at the same time b) I'll have to carry it all home.  With 100 pounds of kids, uphill, wind against me.  And skinny jeans.

So I buy the regular basics (yogurt, produce, pasta).  I put the heavier (oldest) kid in front to weigh down the groceries that were going to be hanging off the handles in the back (with me?) so I could put the two year old in the Moby and lay baby down in the second stroller seat so she could sleep.  Hope you read that slowly.  Smart thinking!  Now the stroller won't tip over backwards!

I'm walking walking through this large large VERY large parking lot all the while getting crazy stares from people in cars.  But I held my head up high like you, Mrs Duggar.  Baby is crying because she's so sleepy. Blisters are forming on my feet and two year old says she wants to get down and walk.  So I ask three year old (in front seat.  Don't you remember that?  gee whilickers) if she wants to go in the Moby.  She says yes.  Baby just fell asleep.  Three year old hops out of the stroller so I can tuck her away like a baby kangaroo.  And oh shit i forgot that the groceries are still hanging on the back of the stroller with the baby in the second seat sleeping and not buckled in.  And on this very busy intersection the stroller tips backwards, baby wakes up, I'm afraid she has brain trauma (she doesn't, the groceries saved her little head).  I put crying baby in Moby and the other two walked the rest of the way home with me.  And I let them put candy in their yogurt for dinner.  

Would I do this again?  Of course!  It was so much fun.  Of course I wouldn't wear skinny jeans and would buckle baby in next time, but other than that, YES!  I would.  Because let's be honest.  Who doesn't like to play the martyr card?

Technicalities

Here's the dealyo.  I have more giveaways lined up!  Yay yay yes yes yes.

However:  I think I want to wait til I have 100 followers.  yes?  no?  Tell me your thoughts.

Another question:  for those of you who've done giveaways, where do you get a button on the blog to click on to link back to the giveaway?  I feel like a constant terrible nag having to remind everyone to enter in every post.

Edumucate me.

It's the weather, i'm sure

What have you been up to lately?  Wait wait, don't tell me.  I'll go read your blogs that I haven't read in 2-3 WEEKS.

I've not noticed until now that these past two to three weeks have been bad.  1) no blog.  2) no p90x (THAT might be for a different post) 3) eat. eat. eat. eat. eat. 4) minimal exercise.

These are the things I care about people.  Being fat and virtual people.  I think a screw's loose.

I have noticed, however, that I am not nice when I don't blog.  So you might be hearing from me a little more.

I have more giveaways, but somehow in some virtual way the last two (even though I LOVED doing it) completely exhausted me.  I don't know why/how.  Stay tuned.

via

I think I need a nap.

giveaway winner!

Congratulations #12!  Anonymous drobst {at} roadrunner {dot} com!

Thanks for playing, and thank you nikkiscloud9!

Wordless Wednesday

Thank my lucky stars for wordless wednesday.  Because we all know that I don't have much else to say this week.  I don't even really have a good picture.  Oh well.  

like mother like daughter.

oh and don't forget last day to enter!

If you don't think this is disturbing, then you're disturbed.

Couldn't they just keep her innocent for a while longer?

Shiloh says that she wants to be an actress like mummy and daddy when she grows up.  So mummy and daddy are going to put her in acting lessons.  asdl;fajs

she's three you sicko parents.

I wanted to be a zookeeper when I was three and my three year old wants to be a good reader when she grows up.

So it's high time we look at pretty (handsome?) little Shiloh and lament.  Because Shiloh's mummy wanted her to be a boy gd, shiloh why can't you do anything right?!

St. Michael protect me from the voodoo that Angelina is about to cast on me.

Weekly Giveaway!

I'm excited to annouce this week's giveaway by  Nikkiscloud9.  Isn't the tote adorable?  Hand stenciled!   I'm not sure if you're aware, but I LOVE red, LOVE elephants and LOVE totes.  How tote-ally awesome is this?!?!?!  


For a chance to win, head on over to Nikki's shop and tell me what your favorite item is.  I'll announce a winner (using random.org) next Thursday (the 8th).

Good luck!

We have a winner!

random.org chose our giveaway winner!...

Cee~ congrats!  Thanks for playing










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