1) Dave and I have a long-standing feud over cheese in a can. He thinks it’s food of The Gods while I think it’s probably Of The Devil. Your take?
Of the Devil. Along with those Mint Oreos. Except Cheese is a different devil. Like a nasty, garbage eating devil. The mint Oreos devil just wants to make you fat.
2) Is there any way you can think of to make the elder Gosselins go away? I AM ALL EARS.
The best way I can think of is to tell her hairstylist to do something equally as cruel to her in her sleep as what she does to her hair. Backwards mullet=bad. Backwards mullet with extensions attached that even people magazine couldn't airbrush= way worse. And as for Jon, he'll self destruct. No worries there. Patience.
3) Who is your ridiculous “I can’t admit this to anyone in polite company lest I be banned from life” crush? Patrick Jayne from the Mentalist. That's for now, anyways. I used to love Lindsay Lohan before her meltdown, and Gwen Stefani was a def.
4) If you could fuck it all and pursue your dream (assuming, of course, you were going to be GOOD at it), what would that dream be? I'd hate to be the person that answers this too seriously- but the grass is always greener, no? I can't start thinking that way. I'm in the middle of a crisis.
5) They say “living well is the best revenge.” I think they are wrong. Do you? I'm not sure who "they" are and why "they" say this. But I do think it's true. There are a variety of ways one can live well. I'm sure most people automatically think in terms of wealth. I, Kiwi Incredible, think beyond that. Don't fat people want to let the people who used to make fun of them know that they (the former fatty) are now skinny? yes.
6) What is the most humiliation you’ve experienced in public that you’d be willing to admit to The Internet? I used to sleep with a garbage bag under me at sleepovers. I, Kiwi Incredible, was a bed wetter. Actually, I am shockingly difficult to humiliate.
7) Are you honest with The Internet? Like, if I came over to your house tonight (heh)(I’m coming over, yo)(heh) would I be surprised at who I found? I'd say I'm pretty honest. I'm not a creep who makes up stories, but my main squeeze's name isn't really Mr. Incredible, in case you're all wondering.
8 ) If you could have one talent that you don’t currently possess, what would it be? I've always wanted nice handwriting. ? oh and to be able to draw, paint, sing, dance, read people's minds, look good all the time (last one is sheer laziness, I understand that)
9) There’s not always room for Jello. Is there? Jello's sick. Sick. Sick. Unless it's not congealed yet.
10) What’s your guiltiest of the guilty pleasures? I'd really have to say that it is equally blogging/reading blogs, eating too much chocolate and shopping too much. With all three I feel a little sick after doing too much of it and walk around in a fog for approximately 36 hours.