Friday, January 8, 2010

More About That Identity Crisis

When I started this blog I was nesting.  As in 6-7 months pregnant with a new house that needed some desperate decorating.  So that's what I thought I'd blog about, thinking, "ooohh I'm a new home owner apparently that means I'm crafty." 

Fast forward a month or five.  It turns out I'm still the same person I was.  Not terribly crafty.  So scratch that part of the blog.  So I started thinking, what's better than a Mommy Blog.  I kinda started writing about the girls, but a) there are many things better than a Mommy Blog b) I was throwing everyone I knew (aka my mom) into the depths of despair because my children's pictures would be on the internet.  Then I would have to listen to tragic blogging stories for the rest of my blogging career.  Whattheflip?

So here's where the struggle is: I need to be me.  ????  I never thought I didn't know who I was.  Which means ew I kinda don't know myself.  My world has been flipped upsidedown and I'm having an identity crisis.  Like I've already said.  

Let's start with the basics (aka things you prob already know) and work our way up, mmkay?

  • I'm 23, married, 3 kids
  • Homeowner
  • Have not finished school, when I do it will (hopefully) be secondary English
Okay- good start.  Now, onto moderately accurate facts:

  • I'm decently funny to some people
  • I like to read, but I'm not an avid reader
  • I like tv but I don't watch it often enough to chime in on weekly television
  • I'm athletic but was never an MVP
And here's the facts that I've heard

  • My mom thinks that blogging is "very self centered" (not directed towards me...)
  • My best friend would rather clean than read my blog (I had to say it jo)
  • My husband doesn't get why I have "all these crossed out lines everywhere" on my blog.  He too, would rather do something better with his time.
Here are the real life, yet very obscure facts:

  • I'm likable but have very few good friends
  • I'm attractive but not hot
  • I'm smart but uneducated
  • I think I'm developing social anxiety.  
Your takes, please.  Let's figure this out one symptom at a time.
annnnd I realize that I've forgotten a lot of other concerning things.  Feel free.


  1. :) Identity crisis or feeling insecure do strike me sometimes, but I believe we should not give up to it.

    I remember only few weeks ago my mom entered my room and asked me what I'm gonna do in the future, I couldn't answer it.

    And that got me thinking.

    But slowly each day unveiled itself, our future, suddenly I know what I want to do in my life, where art and business takes a huge part. Later maybe it'll change but that's just how life is, it's always changing.

    And sorry, but I can't agree with your relatives opinion about blogging. (and the one quote in your previous post? I think)

    Blogging gives me a bigger chance to meet new friends, not limiting it to only blogger friends. I have like heaps of friends offline, but blogging give me even more. I don't have to travel around the world to create a relationship, to befriend someone, rather, now I know where will I stay if I go abroad.

    There's no difference, at all, between online friends and offline friends, they're always appear.

    And hello, this is 2010.

    Btw, I always think it's cool that you're only 23 and have 3 children already, nothing's wrong about that, you know how to take care of children earlier than I do. And studying isn't that necessary, it only what normal people do, so what if you haven't finished your study yet and have three children already? Just take it as you skip a lesson to learn another. :)

    Oh gosh, this is a very long comment! :| hehe, I hope it helps.

  2. I got married when I was your age, and I was no way in hell mature enough to be a mom.

    I'm 30 now, but I still don't know what I'm doing. There are times when I still wonder who I am. It happens.

    For me, the more I write, the more I discover. I think writing will help you. It's just one of those days.

    I tell ya, I have learned a lot about myself ever since Emma was born, 3 months ago, than what I have in the past 7 years. I've learned that I'm not selfish like I thought I was. I learned that when push comes to shove, I can prioritize smartly. I learned that I can get used to poop in my fingers, when I used to gag and throw up easily before child.

    I think that age does not matter when you're ready for motherhood. Some of us don't "mature" that fast, while others are ready in their teen.

    I know this teen mom, who is like super mom. She does everything "right" for her kids. She was very "grown up" when she got pregnant with her child even though she was only 16.

    oops...sorry about the blogment.

  3. Here are my 2 thoughts:

    Undergraduate degrees are, in my opinion, mostly a waste of time and money. Look at me, I have a B.A. in clinical psych and can work a job barely better than Mcdonald's. Now i have loans my hubby has to pay back with a degree that i will probably never do anything with. Life experience is where its at, not hefty student loans.

    My second thought, well more of a suggestion is, step away from the computer and make a point to hang out with real people! It's easy to get caught up in the virtual world like its the real one, but, its not. If the virtual can lead to real friendships, great. Thats what I use facebook for mainly...set up playdates, see whose going to certain events that we can meet up at, etc...keep up the lines of communication to help solidify friendships that had to somewhat change after I had so many kids and wasn't as available with my time as before. It helps when screaming children don't make phone convos too easy either ;) So yeah, call some of your few good friends up or even not so good friends and start setting up some things. The more you prolong doing things, the harder it will be to overcome any social anxiety that may be brewing...and if you remember, I should know ;)

  4. When I first read this post I thought: "I could write an entire book of a response!", but I see you have evoked quite a discussion already in your comments section (sign of a REAL blog!!!) so I will join in here.
    When I first started blogging I didn't know exactly what I wanted to "blog about", but I felt a need to express my voice in some way. Whether blogs tackle personal issues or focus on specific topics- the thing I love about them is that we live in an age were we have the amazing opportunity to self-publish our own thoughts and opinions and don't have to rely on anyone else's decision on whether what we have to say is marketable. It's wonderful! I enjoy following your blog. Its a great way to keep in touch, you ARE funny, and I love to see such a positive take on motherhood. I don't know if I ever want kids myself, but peering into your life is very inspiring. Your blog INSPIRES me!
    Whatever direction you decide to take with Imperfect Daisies will be fun to read I'm sure. My blog has been all over the place and I only recently felt that I have settled into a certain place with it.
    Blogging is about self expression, but I don't think that makes it self centered. It's a great tool for self discovering which I think is very valuable, but it's also a great way to find other people who are like-minded and to learn from them.
    It's an adventure and you are just starting out. Keep going because it will only get better!

  5. Writing is a good thing, because it helps one figure things out without paying for the therapy. At least, that's how it works for me.

    I don't have too much advice except to write for your own enjoyment, and take additional readers as icing on the cake.

    Easier said than done, I think, but I'm working on it too. I need to remember that I'm writing this as a creative outlet, not as a popularity contest. Sometimes I lose sight of that.